We haven't talked in a while
that's right.
I wonder,
if  you ever think back
of those lazy hours
where silence felt at ease
and we laid in bed
where our bodies were entwined
yet our thoughts never rhymed.

I wonder,
if you ever wonder
if I wonder,

I wonder,
if you ever remember
that I remember,

I wonder,
if I'll ever see you again...

We haven't talked in a while
one day I am going to die
and you aren't going to be surprised...


-- Eleanor

Excitement rushed through me,
As I opened the door finding you there,
Smiling happily.

I looked in the mirror the other day.

And I was surprised to see the reflection looking back at me.

I was even more surprised when it said *“Hey kid. Guess I’m the better looking one.”

My logic may seem confusing
A different state you might catch me
Resting in a place
In a moment then on to the next
Never ending change
Analyzing forever
The main subject are
Everything and Nothing

He is shy, very pleasing, my anonymous type of person.
I was ready to fall inlove with him,
until there's something
about him
that made me think of loving him.
Being inlove is one of the feelings
i always adore,
It makes me shiver without warning
and
makes me smile with nothing.
We became friends, which i think more now as
a very-very close friend
If youre going to ask me, how on earth..........
Id be telling you this
straight to the moon
as many times as you want.

She held my hand,
so that I can turn on
the romantic oscillations;
Amplify them via
kissing her;
Taken aback by
her vigorous desire
I did as directed!

Time has passed old friend
And a call across miles
All came to an amicable end
Once again I heard you smile

Catching up is good at times
Wrapped in warmth across the wire
Listening to the sweet talk chime
Fading that you were a liar

Still more than a footnote so it seems
I stained your heart with mere affection
I'm glad that I dance through your dreams
It pretties up the recollection

Thank you dear old friend of mine
I love that you just had to call
I miss the good ways we entwined
The rest, I just don't miss at all

This morning, I just wanted to sleep,
Instead,
I was violently woken by your voices

The worst kind of wake up call is
the one that teaches you that nothing
is ever going to change.

I've given up on trying to find a way out,
I've stopped believing I'm not alone
Yet,
I'm still surprised every. single. time.

I thought by now I'd be used to this,
I thought I was the King of Hatred
The Queen of Disappointment

Everytime she screams, or he screams, or
I scream
It hurts just as bad,
I still can feel the weight of my family's dysfunctional fuckery crushing me,
Soon,
I will be nothing at all.

But for now,
I get out of bed,
Look in the mirror,
And smile.

The fakeness of my family lives within me, too