She owned two cats
and a heart full of sunflowers.
we listened to the Wombats
and talked for seven hours.
She lived across the sea,
in a life unfulfilled.
I hope she does agree
that we have much to rebuild.

I’ve always heard time is supposed to heal the pain,
But the pain I feel is keeping me from feeling sane.
It is now our second birthday without you here to blow the candles out.
I would’ve never thought we’d end up on this route.
I reminisce on the photos we share,
And constantly think to myself “this isn’t fair”.
Living in a world without you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,
But I must feel lucky for the 16 years I got to be with you.
I wish everyday you could’ve met the people in my life now,
And I still ask myself if there’s a way somehow.
Twenty-nine years ago you were born,
But today all I can hold onto are things you’ve worn.
I keep going to text you “Happy Birthday”,
But knowing you’re not on the otherside to receive it leaves me in dismay.
The candles remain tucked away in the box,
In replace we light the room with sunflowers blooming from their stalks.
You brought love and laughter to everyone you met,
And we’ll always share those stories as our strength outlet.
I continue to live a life you’d be proud of
As I know you’re always watching me from above.
As you rest in heaven,
Today we celebrate- forever 27.

My sunflower he was.
Strong like a stalk.
Bright like the petals.
Radiating the vibrant energy he always held.
I would love to see you blossom just once more,
but instead I sit wishing for you to walk through that door.
I hate to see another year pass without you by my side,
But I know you are with me- you are my guide.

His sunflower I will be.
My sweet brother, please hold me tight, and remind me I can get through today
I will be strong & resilient because you wouldn’t accept it any other way.
I will lead a bright future for you to be proud of,
Because everything I resemble is your unwavering love.
I will radiate your energy- through each story & each photo I share
Because I will never forget, our bond was so rare.

My sunflower he was, his sunflower I will be.

i think back to the night we met,
on the rooftop, whilst the city slept,
dreamt,
just the two of us,
sixteen year old me,
full of innocence
oblivious to the fact that love was going to be part of my next chapter,

oh how time flies.
here i am,
by your side, twenty year old me,
full of adoration,
and your admiration.
the craving for your love,
that being unconditional.

oh how lucky i am,
so young and still blooming,
to experience something so pure,
something so soothing.
and here i will be, by your side,
when all i will be,
will be a dying sunflower,
by the tide.

-ehx

All darkness surrounds her
Yet she illuminates
Her pale skin radiates
Like the pedals of a sunflower
Bleeding golden yellow under the pounding sun
She reaches for it, unwavering

I encroach on her radiance,
A black hand reaching out
Looking for someone to hold
But she welcomes me in
Warm and tender
A home for darkness in the light

I take a piece of her each day
Harvesting her happiness and joy
I wound her and try to put her pedals back on
She rages like a wildfire
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Yet her love remains
Wild and untamed
Bursting through her chest like a herd of stallions
I cling to her side
Begging for forgiveness
But she’s already moved on
She’s again reaching for the sun

honey pours over sunflower seeds
like the tears on my cheeks

Four years ago, on this day.
I said goodbye,  I walked away.

I picked up a sunflower and your hat.
A ray of sun I wouldn't forget.

I gave a farewell, a final letter.
Somewhere beautiful, somewhere better.

Remember the countless tears I shed.
You are my hero, you are my dad.

My final words to you, a final kiss.
Till forever I always remember this.

You showed hope, you showed me love.
Dad, I miss you there up above.

So many things I wanted to say to you.
My final words 'Dad, I love you'.

12-7-2012

i picked a sunflower
not because i wanted to
because i had to,
it reminded me of you
now you see?
see what you have done
done to me
I'm trapped in nest
nest made of you
you,
your smile,
your laugh,
made of you.

the sunflower is dead now.
i try to bring it back alive
i really try it
nothing brings it back alive
nothing makes it alive,
maybe aliveish
not alive.
but maybe is that all i can get
aliveish
maybe that's fair enough
enough alive

i fear for the sunflowers
tall woman
   too high for
men who
  can’t let
the weeds grow
bigger than the ant
miseducated,you see
   ,for they are
not weeds, but
something new
undiscovered &
waiting to be found