I wanted to write this,
as a final farewell.
I had dreams of the impact,
as I walked into hell.
I had visions of you,
falling to your knees,
as you heard the news,
and I ceased to be.
I thought of all of the hurt,
and how unbearable it felt,
and how it just kept coming,
and feeling my sanity melt.
Sometimes I wake up,
from nightmares in tears,
and I know that they’re memories,
that I don’t allow to come clear.
Taking the gun,
off the shelf by my bed.
The weight of eternity,
filled with dead lead.
At the table with a knife,
tracing veins on my wrist,
fighting back the voice,
through a drunk ******* mist.
The countless bottles,
I poured into the pain,
Trying to find some relief,
and only finding more shame.
I wanted to hate you,
I wanted to make you pay.
So that maybe you’d know,
what it was like every day.
But now even that’s gone,
and I’m so tired now.
Now I just want to rest,
and cover my brow.
Now I don’t care if it hurts you,
or if you’d weep openly.
You’ve taken that too,
along with the rest of me.
Just please stop the hurt,
I can’t take it no more.
Erase what you can,
and please shut that door.
I just wanted to love you,
and make you my world.
Now my world is burning,
and my vision’s left swirled.
