In my chemical dependency class we have to write down days sober chemically, and says sober emotionally.

Days sober chemically: 55
Days sober emotionally: 75

But they don’t ask how many days it has been since I thought of you.

They don’t teach you how to control cravings for a person.

I could write a book on ways
to control the urges to smoke a joint,
but I am helpless as
to how to prevent myself from texting you.

I don’t have withdrawl symptoms from *** or *****.

I do have symptoms
of a broken heart.
I can’t remember the last time
I used, but I can remember the
last time I felt your skin
against mine.

Last time I took a shot was,
I don’t remember when.
Last time I felt your lips
against mine,
was on the 29th of
November.

I don’t have a craving for **** or *****,
but I do have a craving for you.

I can stop smoking whenever I want.
I can stop drinking whenever I want.

But I can’t quit you.
Because, baby, you’re the monkey on my back.

You don’t encourage me to drink or smoke,
You encourage me by existing.
They say that we all have the power to be sober,
But, what if I don’t want to be sober?

Because when I become sober from you,
Is when you have passed through.

We spoke today after ages
It felt like a part of me came back

Now we talk everyday
It feels like a bright sunny day

I miss his hands
He knows me, he understands

The way he makes me feel
The pain inside my heart will never heal

He’s something I really need
We miss each other, we both agreed

There are so many things I have no control over
It makes me feel like I’m not at all sober
I feel this way without a single drink
I can’t help but think

I want to see him, hold him, feel him
Run towards him and just stay there with him
Maybe I never want to leave
He’s my only belief

I grasped the thought of caressing your flaws in the moon light once more.

Running my index finger down your left cheek bone that was slightly farther out than your right.

Glancing into your left eye which was a tad bit less blue, due to being injured in a fight with a drunk college lad over me.

Rolling my thumb over your lips that were still purple and plump from our needy kisses.

All of these imperfections made me fall even harder for you with every breathe you took, even after being away from you for six sober months.

Never had any regrets since your last cigarette
Never a mistake that drink wouldn’t help you forget
You were ‘fun’ and you were ‘tough’ when the fuzz arrested you
The drugs well they were drugs and they did what they do

Just puff and you take and knock all back
And you huff and you joke your life way off track
It’s all about tomorrow for you; and what it can do for you
Instead of putting down childish things and seeing what you can do for you.


Now it’s bright out and all colours break the dread
You can hear and taste the screams and rows and the tears that ever came
New life hits you hard and the old feels haunts your head
Being sober and so burned only lets you know you’re nothing but ashamed

No amount of bodies would stop the haunting in your bed
It was still **** cold and still **** dark and you still can’t forget
You’re not allowed that way out too many so called tears that would be shed
So now you don’t do that? But the sky’s still blue and your bloods still red

Have another drink and heave it up and get too thin
Smoking chops up the life you want to cut in the rut that you’re in
You say you ain’t a drunk you just like to ***** for a while
Doing a-dult things don’t make you less of a child

Now it’s bright out and all colours breaks your head
You can hear and taste the screams and rows and the tears that ever came
You find comfort in the dark and fear this new light instead
Being sober and so burned only lets you know you’re nothing but ashamed

Now it’s bright out and all colours refuse to fade
Show how you love all the love these people have for you
It’s easier to imagine how it could be back in the shade
Trust they rely on you, stick it through.

But don't be a mug they don’t need you, so keep your face out the dirt
Stay sober stay quit even though it all gets through and sometimes all falls out.
Be alive and happy and hurt, instead of dead and numb, dumb and hurt.
Stick it through, stop being you.
Stick it out.

I'd rather be sober with you
than drunk with the rest of the world.

I drank 4 shots yesterday
Every single one
"in the name of those we lost in love"
Feeling the burn
Down my throat
Tasting your last
Goodbye
And watching it infect
The blood in my veins
I felt the dizziness of
Being lost
The kind you feel when
You've just lost a friend
Or the one you'd fall asleep next to
Or both
I felt the nausea rise up
Like a roaring sea
With the memories we once had
As I stumbled down
To touch the ground
That for once felt like home
Trying to rid myself
Of the thoughts of you
Swimming in my mind
Sober or drunk
It's always you that
My heart remembers

I love you when I'm high.
Sober me isn't a fan.
Then again, I don't really like anything when I'm sober.
Don't take it personally.