We stand side by side
on the corner of
the road.
I watch you smoke
your cigarette-- you
**** in and blow.
It begins to rain; I
check the time on
my phone,
And I say to you,
"Matty, I want to go home."
You ask, "Why, babe? Did I
make you upset?"
I reply, "No, but I am
getting wet."
You give me a smile,
take off and hand me
your jacket.
"Matty, don't you need this?"
"Nah, baby. Have it."
So we stand side by side
at the end of the
street,
With my head on your shoulder
and your arm
around me.

I grasped the thought of caressing your flaws in the moon light once more.

Running my index finger down your left cheek bone that was slightly farther out than your right.

Glancing into your left eye which was a tad bit less blue, due to being injured in a fight with a drunk college lad over me.

Rolling my thumb over your lips that were still purple and plump from our needy kisses.

All of these imperfections made me fall even harder for you with every breathe you took, even after being away from you for six sober months.

In this moment I've never felt so empty

My heart is a wooden slab being knawed away at by pesky termites that leave unrepairable holes

And my lungs like Swiss cheese that can't seem to give me the oxygen I need in order to rid the lump of sorrow in my throat

It's in this moment that your back has turned to me, as I count your steps and wait to hear the slamming of a car door

I count on you to look back at me and smile, but my hope has again betrayed me, and I realize the last I'll see of you will have been this moment

So I've never felt so empty
I've never felt so alone

They think your life's a walk in the park,
when in reality you're finding your way in the dark,
at the beginning there wasn't a mark,
but as I said that was just the start,

You reach out,
Wish you hadn't to shout for help,
Feel unable to assist yourself,
Always the one left on the shelf,

You hate to complain,
But suddenly your crying in the rain,
With the evil thoughts running through your brain,
Always left trying to refrain,

The helpless&selfless; thoughts of the day,
Leave it hard to see the sun rays,
Hiding away,
In one place you stay,
Trying to last the remainder of the way,

With tears in your eyes,
Speaking nothing but lies,
Countless tries, but still you say your fine,

Hoping one day,
You will be able to say,
You made it alive&now; its all okay!

How dare you
let me fall asleep
with thoughts of giving myself to you.
Thinking everything between us was okay,
then leave me a simple note to wake up to
saying you can't stay with me anymore,
because you still loved her.

I’m missing you
more than I can handle.
There’s this pain in my chest,
my face is stained
with the tears I wept,
everything I knew has vanished
with a wisp of a wand.
I’m missing you now
more than I can handle.
An end would be nice.
Or a run from the memories
A pill or a ticket
to escape this reality.

I love how when you visit

You sit on the other couch silently

Reading your book



How every minute or so

I hear the flipping of flimsy

Pages



Sometimes, when I glance at you

I see different emotions passing

Across your face



I love to watch you change position

As you shift your body

Across the sofa



I love how you bury yourself

Into the literature so that you

Don’t even hear me talk



But that’s okay because

Watching you quietly is

All I really need.



l.r.