The sky like the palm of my hands
Is clear and faint
Holding stars and then slowly digesting them
Just like I do with magic pills.


--Watercolour

people left me with a need for a new place
where touching skin no longer felt like a fear

i wanted to stay and get past my broken feelings but there's fear even in happy moments

voices of disapproval followed me
slowly and quickly
day in and day out
on land
and not even the sea could cast away those demons

warmth quickly became a burden
my scars i tried to return but faces came forward to form more

The snap of twigs under my feet,
Makes me remember to crackle of lighting,
That one night.
The wind is harsh,
Fall colored leaves,
Fall to the ground,
Slowly they whip back and forth,
Slowly I block up my past,
Slowly I attempt to become unchained,
Slowly.....
I pretend I am just tired from lack of sleep,
Not from lack of love,
Of comfort,
I pretend I am just sad,
Not chronic depression
That keeps coming back...
It's getting dark out now,
I'm walking down the trail on the property
We can barely afford.
I climb trees and stay at the top,
Attempting to see,
Me
Beyond my depression,
Beyond my obsession,
Of being ok..
I have to go back,
I say.
I have to climb down,
Out,
From the pit I have dug for myself,
I have lists of people who gladly handed me the shovel,
But it's my choice to climb out,
I breath in and slowly ascend out of my
Pain,
Down from my tree,
Head back to the house...

I'm ok.

She walks...
Not like the others,
She walks slowly
Naturally, heavenly.

She doesn't run,
She doesn't need to
Because she already knows
*That she wants you.