all feeling in my body gone
numb
the tears follow
my hand instinctively reaches for the blade
i pull down my sleeve
reminders of yesterday remain
no vacancies
i try again
i lift myself out of my clothes
my battered body reflected in the mirror
joy
my thighs still hold the colour of my skin
and not the rapidly familiar crimson dye
the blade makes its way down
the cold metal devours its target
1, 2, 3
66, 67, 68
83, 84, 85
and on it goes
all done

the fire left sparks on my sleeve
You stood ten feet across from me
on the other side of the flames
they reflected in your eyes
the ocean blue turned arsony
and I could see all our memories
burning

Staring through a frosted window
At a girl that is paper thin
Heart on her sleeve, chained to a pen
Crimson blood poured onto paper
Forming words out of alphabet soup
She cannot decide, she cannot choose
The words form themselves
Whether she’s happy with them or not

There was this thing
that I still can't forget about you

Two conflicting scents
But both are intoxicating
in their own way

the scent of cheap fabric softener that I fairly used
and
filtered cigarette smell sticking on your jacket sleeves

Maybe if I miss you that much,
I could try to recreate
that smell on my sleeves too

I'm scared of commitment,
I fear the feeling of resentment,
I'm scared of the tone in your sentence,
I'm scared of falling too deep,
And your heart cutting me until I bleed,
I'm scared of you covering the heart on my sleeve,
Using my seed as a weapon against me,
I'm scared of believing that my insecurities,
Are the reason for you leaving me,
I'm scared of my love not being enough,
Until you no longer see you and me as us,
And that feeling is tough,
I'm scared of not being able to feel your touch,
While you leave with more to gain,
That's pain I can't explain,
That's too much for the brain,
I fear experiencing the same,
I’ve led others along,
Wrote them fairy tale love songs,
Told them that together we would be strong,
I apologise I know I was wrong.

Staring through a frosted window
A girl that is paper thin
Heart on her sleeve, bound to a pen
Crimson blood poured onto paper,
Her words bound to give in

The years of being constantly knocked down are forever gone.

No more heart on her sleeve and clenched fists.

The suffocated voice inside her has grown strong.

She speaks louder than ever, and no one dares to go against her.

The fear in her eyes is replaced by vengance.

A fierce, unpredictable rebel is born.

Heading for war.

She's now ready for anything and anyone.

The most beautiful, savage beast anyone has ever laid eyes on.

With fire in her eyes, purple lipstick and Dr. Martens she is now waiting.

To watch her enemies crumble beneath her feet.

And she breaks into that lethal smile of hers that only she possesses.