I don't think anyone
Truly realizes how hard
A long distance relationship is;
At least, not until
They're in one.

You have dreams of big cities and fancy cars and you are surrounded by beautiful people
But your ship is drowning
You've been on this voyage for 18 years now and you've come farther than you ever thought you would have but you will come up alittle short
Just as always
You have such big dreams but larger deadly habits
The razors won't help you and you know that but
Somewhere in your head you have convinced yourself that if you drain out all your blood you will also drain out all the hate and be lighter than ever and then you can finally make it to shore
But, my dear, the hate is not in your blood it is in your head
You are the captain of this sinking ship but your depression is your first mate
Your depression has been the evil stowaway that has been sleeping in your brain for years now
The hate in your head can be traced back to it
You've spent the last eighteen years trying to track its every move
You've performed countless operation on yourself trying to make yourself better trying to remove your depression
You would have thought you were van gogh trying to paint the perfect smile on your face because you know people say smiles can cure depression but i guess you just didn't try hard enough or maybe you should have ate yellow paint instead
But no matter how you decorate the ship it is still sinking

Sometimes I scream,
Sometimes I shout,
Sometimes I laugh,
Sometimes I pout.
I throw tantrums,
and you ask me why,
I say it's nothing,
And it's not a lie.
Sometimes I scream,
Sometimes I shout,
You want a practical reason,
but none comes out.
Sometimes I cry,
Sometimes I pout,
Sometimes I just need
to let it all out.

but then they push you so hard and then wonder why you fell and got broken

Oh Moon, oh goddess;
why do you weep?
I know too well of your lonliness.
I know too well about the darkness that surrounds you.

Little light lingers from the end of a day.
The same light that approaches you.
It shuns you, pushes you away.

You believe nobody sees you, but
I know many who admire your
shimmery shine.
Plenty look to your silent beauty.

Oh how the stars are yours and nobody else's.
For they are just as dazzling;
yet you outshine them all.
The glimmer even at a glance of a sliver of you
is enough to allow a decadent sigh.

When
                                   every exhale's a sigh
         every question's a why
                                      every moment's passed by

                                                                                  I've lost my mind.

My soul sighs at night...
But it's actually screaming inside...
You just can't hear it...
My unwanted... out without warning sighs  give my soul away...
My sighs speak for my heart...
They tell you of my troubles
They want you to know of the feelings I hide inside...
My sighs, truthful and scary...
I **** them every time...

You have learned from them...
You've picked up on the meaning they give...
You know them well...

My sighs... my ******* sighs...
They give me away...
But I must let them out...
My sighs...
The only relief I have for my heart,
The only option for my loud screaming soul.