I do not wish to suffer but suffer I
   must
Cursing my ill luck and the mad
   excesses
Of a selfish insensitive owner
Obsessed with destruction, both mine
   and his;
Occupying a spot here in the High
   Street
Opposite the Courthouse and its
   official Clock
An eyesore, a common talking point
Squeezed between more fashionable
   premises
Which seem always to frown and
   grimace
Expressing major reservations,
   unambiguous opposition.

Housing curios, oddments and
   selected modern junk
We sell little, our few customers
   dribbling in
Only to supplement their journeys
   while waiting on the bus
Or to eye with a morbid curiosity
That sickly creature seated behind the
   counter
My luckless tyrant of an owner
Against whom all conspire
Who seriously in debt, is helpless,
   cannot pay up
Hounded interminably by mysterious
   moneylenders
Who after giving a little now expect a
   whole lot in return.

With fuel running low for my boiler
My heating system, it is unreliable
Volatile, treacherous in Winter
My ventilator rusted through
Erratic at best, chronic in Summer
The damp in the walls and ceiling
The dry rot, the wallpaper peeling
Encouraged by years of neglect
Of being used, unscrupulously
   tampered with,
In need now of meticulous care and
   attention.

My owner truly a derelict, a dissipated
   soul
Spending more time in the cellar with
   a bottle
Than on any other shop floor level
(Among his friends, the mice, the
   cockroaches and spiders)
Who trying to stay awake, eventually
   must capitulate
Caught by that Ghost Ship that drifts
   slowly North
To where the icebergs loom large and
   ominous out of a damning fog
It's compass frozen, it's wheel
   unmanned
Nothing but shadows and wind in the
   rigging
As he floats off into oblivion, off the
   edge of the earth
Where exist such shapes that can
   never be said.

                               II

Is peculiar though, my owner
At times displays a certain poise and
   grace
Hinting at a time in the not too distant
   past
Which was not altogether bad or
   harmful
But unusual as it might seem
Was quite on the contrary, fruitful !!
Him featuring as being both proud
   and distinguished
Far removed from today's pitiful
   wretch
Whose solitary doubts and fears have
   all but taken over.

And maybe I do find it hard to
   sympathize
I after all being the one offered up
   now in sacrifice
Him there with little joy, love or hope
With only complaints and grievances
   mounting up
Filed away in offices at City Hall.

                                 III

Whereupon the hour, every  hour, the
   Courthouse Clock it chines
Ever vigilant, ready to track it's quarry
   down
Where in the corridors of power this
   very moment
City fathers, town planners and
   architects have gathered
To discuss whether our future lies in
   this town
To argue out the case, the for and the
   against;
While below the vile demolition man
   he stalks my borders
With his heart of ice and ghastly  
   drunken laugh,
No! I do not wish to suffer
Indeed, I wish I could be like any other.

I knew the first swallow of vinegar salt-water memory
Would not leave me in peace
But awaken my wolf’s hunger
For pensive penance

Which leaves me thrashing my boots, khakis, coat,
Sweater, watch,
Suddenly immersed in the pure sapphire blue,
Of my past.

Coffee shops, Like brains,
Mock the idea of ridged conformity

People of all shapes and sizes
All makes and models
All styles and varieties
Wander through looking for single refreshment
The background weight of memories caught in my coat
Pull me down until I’m sputtering, splashing,
In the days I've lived,
Or days I've just watched.

But no day as no person in need of quenching
Stops for long
Each just here to slow down my day
Just here to do me death by a thousand charms
Treacherous tenacity of “what if” at the counter
Tears a hole inside my heart

So you’re on the Main Street, right?
Turn left onto the little alley way
next to the flower shop,
standing prettily with its painted windows and gorgeous displays.

Tucked away behind other shops,
you’ll see it.
With its inviting smell of coffee,
hot chocolate, and cookies,
and the perfectly neat pastry rack by the counter.

Each cupcake is frosted perfectly,
Each muffin baked with love and care;
and strawberries, of course.
Once you experience all of that, you know you’re at the best coffee shop in town.

The curtains are tied back into perfect little bows
To reveal glittering windows with a view to nowhere, but a beautiful view nonetheless.
There are little shops and restaurants, making it amazing for people-watching,
especially for artists that like drawing people!

If reading is more your style,
you’ll find gorgeous bookshelves sitting along the pretty walls.
They’re fully stocked with hundreds of novels, from new to old;
in alphabetical order too.
Sprinkled with dust that makes them even more endearing somehow.

So once you make it to the coffee shop,
Go inside and enjoy the food and drinks, okay?
Stay as long as you want there, they don’t mind customers that hang out even for hours
lost in a borrowed book or painting the summer sky that they saw 5 hours ago,
now painting from memory because of the moon coming up.

And maybe buy some flowers on your way back! 
The flower shop is pretty, with its sweet smell and colorful blooms.
Have fun,
and welcome to a town of dreams!

I want to open a business
but I will never trade
every words of sanctity
for it.

Teach me,
on how to open a shop
without a table
without a sign
without a premise
is it all done just
to break the promise?

I want to be like them
but I can't sell my words
on a tee, on a tele
becoming part of
the rotten machinery
is a sign of chaos
and profligacy.

even if I have to wait
at the end of the line
, I will do that.

hagley
i remember back in 06 i worked in a warehouse
it was for a store that sold varied things
there were varied staff there in several departments
we had a boss who was a real hag and she ruled us
like adolf ****** ruled occupied europe
iron fist and no carrot
so you can imagine what i thought
as i got to know her ways
i eventually left as did a dozen other staff
leaving the store with a skeleton crew
head office did an investigation into this
it was due to the manager who was a real *****
she was both my manager and area manager
so if i had a problem and reported her
it was the bizarre situation of reporting her to herself!
a surreal investigation into herself
i wonder where she is now my old manager
still giving her staff absolute hell?
i've never met a hag like her...

You are weak, you don't know how to love. I know this to be true because you were able to sit across from me at the coffee shop after trying to steal a kiss from my lips and then tell me that you loved her. I laughed. If that's love then I want no part in it. I looked you up and down and asked myself what I saw in you for so long. I thought of our relationship and my head began to swirl with the messages you would send . . . to girls that weren't me. So I asked you. "When did I become not enough for you?" You blinked and glanced down, unable to meet my eyes. "Taylor, you became too much."

You're **** right I did. Any girl who has self-respect, ideas in her head and love for herself becomes too much for you. You like easy, I will no longer shrink myself to fit into the mold you lay out. Poor you. Poor her.