I know I was drawn to coming here                                                             ­                                               
to a dark room with a mind to clear                                                            ­                                                    I need some time to think about me                                                                                                           
 And find out what my life needs to be                                                                                                                         
 I have a habit of blaming myself                                                           ­                                                                                                                                        Give all my love to everyone else                                                             ­                                                 So  what I have been repressing                                                       ­                                                    Has bubbled up  & effervescing                                                     ­                                         
A  hard battle  that I have to win                                                              ­                  
Am I worthy of self-forgiving?                                                  ­                                                      It's time to let all the past go                                                               ­                                                Less ebb & much more flow

Yes
Don’t we all just want to feel
****
Smart
Attractive
Desirable
& mostly LOVED…
Don’t we all want to know
We’re valued
Admired
Appreciated &
Mostly LOVED

don’t we all just need to know
We matter?

I matter…I am ****…I am important…I am LOVED!
You matter! You are ****.  You are important! You are LOVED!
So don’t
Fade away
We MATTER
Always…
We all need to know
We matter to someone…
You are everything to me

change is the only constant
but being is open-hearted
& loving more.

i don’t want to be so
drunk
that i wake up in gun hill road.
home on new year’s day. 7 am.

for me, you can always reclaim a
sense of sanity
even in a time of chaos.

there are many things that
one
cannot reclaim.

why should i try?
if those things are gone…

did i need them in the
1st place?

self-worth comes back.
things get stolen.
for something
new.

not good enough to be in your band
or join your basketball team
but good enough
to spectate or be your water boy
not good enough
to pass your classes academically
but good enough to receive a passing grade
for participation that helped me graduate
so I’d be out of your hair
not good enough
to break bread with you at the lunch table
because our parents made different salaries
but good enough
to be put down when you needed a laugh
or to feel better about yourself
not good enough
to answer back when I needed your help
but good enough
to be a nostalgic crutch when you need someone
to lean on
I’ve only been good enough
to stand in front of your machines,
to fill out your paperwork,
to sweep your floors
but not good enough
to advance at this job or in this society
and now I’ve found myself conquering the world
despite your predictions, despite your conjectures
despite your criticism, despite your disparaging remarks.
I have made myself who I am today based on the indifference
towards your humiliation, your rejections, your rebukes
so, if you see me on the streets and I don’t say “hi”
it just means you weren’t worthy of acknowledging
and if I give you the sharp eye and spit in the trash can
it only means I’ve forgotten about you completely
and that is good enough for me.

From a bench in the park,
I saw myself walking.

And I thought,
he looks good,
he works, he writes,
he does what he loves,
he has something to offer.

What I offer has value,
I have value.

I deserve all the love I get.

So many times,
life denied me
what I longed for,
what I hoped for,
what I thought was mine.

Sadness,
uncertainty,
wrapped around me.

Why others?
Why not me?

Time and again,
I thought I understood:
It wasn’t mine,
I didn’t deserve it.

But today,
under the sun,
I ask myself:

Why not?

I am worthy.
I know how to love,
I strive every day.
I respect,
I believe,
I share,
I give.

And those who know how to give,
also know how to receive.

I deserve everything in my life.
I deserve freedom.
I deserve health.
I deserve peace.
I deserve prosperity.
I deserve love.
I deserve happiness.

What are you denying yourself?

I hate myself.
Ah, what a shocking revelation.
Another day, another shipwreck,
Like I ever had a map to calmer waters.

I hate myself.
A song stuck on repeat,
An anthem my mind refuses to rewrite,
A weight pressing against my ribs, unyielding.

I hate myself.
And here comes the grand finale:
The urge to tighten, to silence,
As if choking on air could quiet the waves.

I hate myself.
So much that even my reflection looks away,
So much that even my shadow hesitates to follow.
So much, and yet, I am still here.

But you are here.
Somehow still standing,
A survivor of a war no one sees,
A heartbeat that refuses surrender.

You are here.
Your chest is tight, your hands are shaking,
Your mind swings between stay and run,
But at least you still feel, right?

You are here.
Breathe. Or let your body do it for you.
It knows how to stay afloat,
Even when your mind is begging to sink.

You are here.
And you deserve better.
Not because it’s poetic,
But because no storm lasts forever.

You are here.
And so am I.
So tell me, do we drown, or do we learn to swim?