I want to know why.
I want to know how.
I want to know what's on your mind right now.
I want to know what you've seen.
I want to know your pain
So maybe someday I can relieve
Some of the pressure
That suffocates your brain.

Often I ask myself what's worse the endless darkness or loneliness in its most extreme variant
A darkness so potent not even sound could pierce it's ever encompassing embrace
And your voice is the one melody I need to hear to break free and feel lights warmth once more
A loneliness so severe even when in others company nothing quite compares to time spent with you, and furthermore that doesn't begin to compare to the times we spend alone together
But even on the darkest and loneliest nights
Opening my eyes to your visage is unlike any other sunrise or surprise even if I knew you'd be there
And once again I know everything is and will be fine, when I'm next to you.

Should we dissolve this?
This game we are playing
Jumping these hurdles
It can be exhausting.

Rocking the boat
Tipping me over the edge
Wanting to see me
Succumb to the waves.

Relationship dissipating
Easygoing on temptation
Dissolving my feelings
No surprises at all.

Easy come easy go
No more favors for you
Closing these doors
And ending this chapter.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

This earth doesn’t seem to be for me
I wanna be in the clouds
With those I lost and miss so much

I can’t erase my mistakes
I don’t know how to forgive myself

My head is in the clouds
Ohh let me go

I promise I’ll be okay Mami
This pain won’t seem to leave
So it’s time that I do
It’s my time to go

I’ll watch over you
Just like you did
For 19 years

Now I’m in the clouds
And I’m finally smiling

I know you’ll shed some tears
But I’m finally happy
Here in the clouds
Here in the clouds

Readers can see the pain
Writers can scribe the pain
Artists can sketch the pain
Physicians can ease the pain
Loved ones can kiss the pain
Music can drown the pain
Food can comfort the pain
Laughter can endorphin the pain

What remains?
The pain—always there
No matter what we try
Physical or mental or emotional
Can blend into all of these
No matter how, it’s there
It’s there, it’s there, it’s there
Suffering our own is tough
Trying to understand the pain
In someone else’s shoes...
Even harder

Pain wants to yell and scream
Or be silent and groan inside
So why do we care?
Because of empathy
Lend an ear to hear to listen
To comprehend
To have compassion

We may have no answers
But catching someone else’s pain
When they want to throw it
Even for just a moment
Time offers a chance for relief
Just knowing we are heard

The first soft gray light of day
creeps in from the east
not even a glow
just barely enough
to see the clouds stretching over me
but I know a love
that is the dawn in my darkness.

i feel new,
i no longer have chains holding me down,
i no longer feel like i have to take my time,
hold my tongue; be a good girl now,

i feel new,
i can stretch my arms i won't me a brick wall,
taunting me; i want out but they hate when i am free,

i feel new,
i can feel the sun on my skin, the rain on my lips,
the wind in my hair, the love in your kiss,

i am new,
no longer in the past,
i am the future,
i'm more than happy with that.

I told him the other day what I was feeling
He looked me in the eyes and left me where I was standing
He has a way of making me smile
While I cry on the inside
And the odd ability of making me mad
When I'm ecstatic just to be in his space

It felt so good to finally be known
Even if was right in front of his girl
But what do I care
When the feelings I have eat me up
I have to say something before I am eaten alive
And it that is telling you that I love you
That's just what's going to happen