In a corner of a round room
Since the rebirth of the silver moon, I sit
Waiting for a righteous trial
Like a fallen soldier in denial

Hoping like a scared kitten
They’d be kind with their decision
They’d be human and not just men
As I was, when shooting at them

But how kind were my bullets
To the people who’d never done me wrong
Even those inside my gun
Waiting to be fired, one by one

In their eyes I am looking at
Seeking for forgiveness
Hoping for a teardrop
That will make my suffer stop

I call myself a man,
A human
I call myself names
Where I should be a no-name, a forgotten letter

How much a life is worth
On this sinful blackened earth
From our death and back to birth
How much a life is worth

Ask yourself these questions
Before you choose to do just what you do
Would I ? Could I ? Should I?
Have I thought the whole thing through?
If there ever was a moment
To make my worldly dreams come true
Would I ? Could I ? Should I?
Have I thought the whole thing through?

I saw you from a distance
Knew I loved you from that look
I didn't know how to approach you
It wasn't written in a book
Your eyes looked clear on through me
In that second that it took
For me to know I loved you
I knew it from that first quick look

I worked my way around you
When I saw you at the fair
I knew then that I loved you
With your long and golden hair
You were with another
But you see, I didn't care
I knew then that I loved you
I could smell it in the air

Ask yourself these questions
Before you choose to do just what you do
Would I ? Could I ? Should I?
Have I thought the whole thing through?
If there ever was a moment
To make my worldly dreams come true
Would I ? Could I ? Should I?
Have I thought the whole thing through?

I first told you of my feelings
Though you didn't hear a word
I told you how I loved you
Though, it now seems quite absurd
For you were never near me
When I spouted every word
I told you how I loved you
And I know you never heard

I'm too shy to show my feelings
Going through this life alone
I will smile and turn away from
Every love I've ever known
I never show emotion
My heart is only mine on loan
I will never say I love you
And for this...I'm all alone

Ask yourself these questions
Before you choose to do just what you do
Would I ? Could I ? Should I?
Have I thought the whole thing through?
If there ever was a moment
To make my worldly dreams come true
Would I ? Could I ? Should I?
Have I thought the whole thing through?

Yeah I may be a Christian and I may be a poet but that doesn't mean my Life is picture perfect. An addict to the Ice and a slave to the Mary Jane...I have learned to cope with it all. Yes I am a full functioning addict I work I pay my bills and I save my money. However, whenever I have extra I like to treat myself to my addictions. It's self medication and a solid connection to an altered state of mind. Meditating on what has gone wrong in my Life I am seeking help for consolidation perhaps my best friend long gone abandoned me to my own destination. What else to do where to turn...I don't know but it is a direct confrontation with my inner being and the devil and he wants my soul. So here I put it in writing and hope for some explanation. God is there with me but I only feel lamentation. So many paths one can choose but I am seeking spiritual exploration...but my soul is weary and tired of loneliness and isolation. Sometimes I feel am not good enough for God's grace or mercy or even salvation...but here I am writing about my experience alone battling my addictions. When am high I feel like I have secluded myself from my Life's many problems and trials forms of testing my caliber against the world filled with agony and despair. My life is in a point of turmoil and descending to an abyss. However, what am I to do am just a lone human seeking God...what else is there for me?

Inside my head are many fears. Unimaginable, uncontrollable the urge to feel accepted by society to just fit in to motivate myself to feel loved and appreciated by all mankind. Though the Age and time we live in that is just a far away dream...logically knowing it's impossible to please the masses with knowledge that is impeccable admirable and clean. To them am a lunatic a fanatic of dogma and God. What they don't know or understand is that am a sinner awaiting my redemption and also my salvation...to the one and only that provides the breath of Life and it's known creation.

Thinking on **** I am not contempt with the erroneous ways I have dealt with my life in the past. Will it all end one day will I be granted the glory of God? Or is it all im my head and I will end up in hell for being who I am today? Questions only God knows the answer to...questions upon questions...what ifs upon what ifs...doubts upon doubts. I am what I am today due to the decisions I made yesterday. But just let me be me and let God show me a way...so I can find my way back home and be there to stay.
©Franko the Christian Poet

At times I long for new friends and lovers
Those who haven't known my past
But true love always finds its way
Sinking into ***** cracks
It digs up rotted journals
And asks for all you have

I just want to be with you
all day & all night
These feelings are so true
My heart feels like it will ignite

Holding each other tight
I will never let go
Even we get into many fights
It will make our relationship grow

I want to feel the warmth in your embrace
I want to see the happiness on your face
I want to be with you 24/7
But our feelings are quite uneven

Hoping that someday you'll see me
Hoping that you'll love me
I just want you to know that I exist
Keeping these feelings although i cannot even resist

drawing
stick people
trying
not to make them look
sick
wasting time being
wasted
because when something inside
your chest feels
broken
the clock seems to be working
slower than
usual
praying
to someone in the ceiling to
please stop the
aching
looking for my sanity
just another thing
lost
the lingering question
following me around
like a red balloon
tied to my
wrist
unanswered still:
lover, do you like yourself
better
now that you're with
her?

My best kept secret
Is that I love you
So much that sometimes it frightens me
And I enjoy my time
Spent wasting nights in your bed
Just please remember darling
I like bruises on my thighs
Not my arms
And there are boundaries
You just shouldn't push

Crossing over the old fears.
Scared to turn my head
to the shadows of myself.

Chasing created lies.
Letting myself in pain...
rolling over the same worries,
for a smile from the loved ones.

Struggling with my own thoughts
Observing the truth...but still
following the creation of  fear.
Too far from the courage.

Who am I?
A loner..surrounded with crowds?
A coroner... without a clue?
A Bird...without a wings?
Or a believer without a faith?

....

I'm a dreamer,
awaken from a deep sleep of illusion.
Absorber of the energy,
living the pain and sorrow
For the goal of open eyes
and rising beauty of soul...
For freedom
for letting it go...

I'm a dreamer,
Who enjoys the smell of a flower
The sound of nature notes.
Who talks to the moon and sun
and sings a silent song.

I'm a dreamer stranger,
Craziness is my guide,
And rising is my goal.

Rising like in this song
from pain and fear of closed minds
to the valley of the FREE DREAMERS.

M.T. 2016.