Will it be empty?
Will it be cold?

Visions of choking stillness.
Visions of growing puddles.

This sacred place.
This capsule of love.
This shared space.

Will it scream,
While I dream?
Will it cry,
While I die?

Will we consume one another?

i never thought i would ever reach this age
but life is always like this, almost like a cage
you try to find a way out, a path of escape
my thoughts don't move enough or take shape
i only live this life sick of all this landscape

i don't sleep very often nor do i find peace
my entire life all i want is to find some release
i realized though you only find that when you are deceased
but you live life like an apartment with a lease
so even with the pain you feel there is a masterpiece

so i want to go somewhere, another place
somewhere, some place where there is no race
where i don't have to be ashamed about the emotions on my face
where i can life and know i can follow my pace
where i don't have to be a mess, i can be the epitome of grace

i stand high in the heights, looming over the sky
i don't even notice i have no voice to shout or cry
but this problem can't be solved by anything i buy
i'm tired of trying to accomodate and modify
i'm ready, so i stretch my arms as if i want to fly
i'm going some place else now, goodbye

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝, 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚍.
𝙱𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎.
𝚂𝚘, 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎.
𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛.

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐?
𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎?

𝙸𝚏 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎,
𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎, 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚕.

A palace by the sea for you and me.
a palace by the sea where mermaids swim free.
a palace by the sea where I wrap my arms around you tight
as we get lost in a beautiful sunset every night.

What's your happy place?

THE SKY IS FALLING!

THE SKY IS
                       F
                         A
                            L
                              L
 ­                               I
                                ­  N
                                    G!

our sitch
                   at the moment
                   is quite the same

unless we are crying
                     WOLF! WOLF!




              thank u
               miss info
                dis-em-e-na-tor
                  donny j


    without whom
     we wouldn’t
                                     be standing
                                      under umbrellas
          with baren spines
           as the thunderous
                      angry skies
           fully open upon us



Presidential now, are we?
           Yoda would posit
To the game, late you are #45




THE SKY IS FALLING
as wall street is



              we
               shelter in place

               social animals that we are

     self isolate
     worry     catastrophize    ignore
    
     attempts to hold on


                  we
                   reach out to comfort
                                   to be comforted






get out your cards
throw the i ching
           the runes
program & grid your crystals


wash your hands
cover your mouth
maintain isolation
                social distance
daren’t cough
             sneeze
             touch

try not to breathe



                  thru all this
                   cling to sanity



         cuz baby


             looks like we just

                     stepped on the carousel

468 days till I'm out of this place
468 days till I graduate
468 days till I'm out of this space
468 days till I escape

This place that brought me rules to follow
This place that brought me expectations to exceed
This place that brought me wishes to fulfill
This place that brought me dreams to give up

This place that consistently tells me that I must act prim and proper
This place that consistently tells me that I must have perfect grades
This place that consistently tells me that I must be involved in activities
This place that consistently tells me that I must stand out

Stand out
Stand out but not in bad way
Let your voice be heard, but don’t speak too loud
Show your curves, but not too much because that degrades you
Be smart, but don’t be nerdy, dorky or quirky

This place that brought me tests every other week
This place that brought me heartaches and headaches
This place that brought me back stabs and betrayal
This place that brought me all nighters to makeup for my lazy group mates

This place that consistently tells me that I must not ***** up
This place that consistently tells me that I must not waste my time
This place that consistently tells me that I must not have too much fun
This place that consistently tells me that I must not have infatuations

Infatuation
Infatuation is just an observation with a cost
Love your friends but don’t get too close
Have hobbies but don’t waste too much time doing them instead of studying
Befriend everyone but not with any guys

This place that brought me tears
This place that brought me fears
This place that brought me cries
This place that brought me lies

But i might miss this

468 days till im going to miss this place
468 days till i graduate
468 days till i miss this space
468 days till i miss this place i underrate

This place that brought me inside jokes and goofy smiles
This place that brought me song lyrics and theater performances
This place that brought me fundraisers and field trips
This place that brought me late night conversations on calls

This place that constantly reassures me that I am not useless
This place that constantly reassures me that I am not what others define me as
This place that constantly reassures me that I am not unworthy of what i tried so hard to achieve
This place that constantly reassures me that I am doing well for someone who’s only seventeen

Seventeen
Seventeen might be too young
Too young but i know what i feel is real
All the nights talking about everything about nothing
The birthday gifts we shower each other with

This place that brought me happiness
This place that brought me those brown eyes and freckles on his smile
This place that brought me boys now we call ex
This place that brought me valuable lessons

This place that constantly reassures me that I don’t need man to be happy
This place that constantly reassures me that I am beautiful no matter what others think
This place that constantly reassures me that I will be alright
This place that constantly reassures me that I will be ready for when I leave

Leave
All we ever talk about is leaving
Run away, as far away from home
Can’t wait to get out, but soon I would look for every excuse to return
Just wanna run away but keep coming back to this place

This place

This place that brought me memories
This place that brought me laughter and joy
This place that brought me friends and love
No other place like this