But I'm not a disaster,
I might be a withering flower
And dying out of air
Begging for you to let me go
Trying to choke my own lungs.

Maybe, I'll cry myself to sleep again tonight,
Or put on a nice dress just to see
If it could bring myself back to the life
I wanted.

Scared, lonely
Bitter and broken.

Screaming..

But I know that
Every tears I've dropped,
Every words I've said,
Every whisper I've spoken,
And every mistakes I've done,
They do not describe me; not at all.

So, I might be missing some parts of myself
But I know,
I am not a disaster.

Why are you sad?* I asked, giving him a kiss.
It’s because every time we part,
I always have this longing of
Wanting more time with you, he said.

I always want more of you.
It’s always never enough —
A day will never be enough,
He told me with solemness.

He looked up at me and made a promise:
I promise you I’ll be the man,
The man that will spend all eternities with you
And I won’t ever be tired of it.

I love you, that’s why.
I love you in all the curves and edges —
All the patches and etches
In my temporary body

For now, I’m becoming that man;
Slowly, but I will be.
I’m not saying that I will grab all the stars in the sky
Because then, all the glimmer in you will disappear.

All I promise is,
I will be the man that is right for you.
But for now, I’m only becoming
More than the man of your dreams.

I gave him a shy smile and thought,
You will be the man, I know,
You’ll be the man I’ll spend my entire life with.
*But for now, you’re still my rose bud boy.

Once boyish hair lost its flight
In toussling winds
One cricket leg after another
Found its way to an armchair
To hide in cigar smoke.

Brown eyes seem dull in an oak room
No shine on the chandalier, no
Varnish left to scrub
For you are a curious one who
Found more than your fingers could stand up to,
Trembler.

Move with the beckon of the sunlight
Dancing the dance that keeps you free from shadow
But hold your head with anvils
Not as heavy as memory
Or as straw hats, poorly fitting.

I find it hard to know you,
Land owning pity
But it's something like noble
To try.

I'm a person;
I am not a meal to be devoured yet they say that real girls have a bit of meat on their bones.
I'm a person;
they may tell me that wearing make up is false advertising but I am not a product to be sold and I am not theirs to own.
I'm a person;
and no matter how many times they whistle at me in the street, I am not a dog who's going to go running to them.
I'm a person;
I am not an object for them to touch, use or abuse whenever they wish to; that behaviour I abhor and condemn.
I'm a person
with as much talent and intelligence as them but I am held back by the glass ceiling in my endeavours.
I'm a person
and I'm determined to reach my goals - I will not be held back by my oppressors.

i'm not nice to myself
i'm not kind to myself
i'm not proud of myself*

how do you expect me to love myself?

Ignore me, i'm just nobody,
I'm just someone who thinks he's paid all his dues enough,
so he can refute...

"Trust no..one but yourself"
Everyone says that but i know it's a bad idea..

It's not my place to say,
it's not my place at all,
And though my words they fade,
I'm certain my will will crawl..

But this is the closest i've been..to myself

Promise me, that you'll lie to me,
'Cause everything happens in reverse
And it would all be okay...

Crying? oh now you're crying..
You pick the best fucken time to cry,
oh yeah, you fucken did..

It's not my place to say,
it's not my place at all,
And though my words they fade,
I'm certain my will will crawl..

But this is the closest i've been..to myself

I don't want to be lonely,
I just wanna be alone.