Grace has made it through Wonderland, and has seemed to find peace with it for the time being, so where does she go from here? This would be easy if like in books things just ended, closed up in a neat little bow at the end of the story and there is resolution.

But there is no resolution here. Just a desperate craving for meaning again.

I guess since my Wonderland is stable, the only thing left wrong is me.

Not to say that the baubles and do-dads in my head are still broken, no, Wonderland is at peace, remember? Must get you checked for that memory of yours, good sir.

Regardless, my ducks are trying to row and I must follow their orders as to not rock the boat. Nonetheless, though, who is Grace? I've been working so hard to keep the Jabberwockys at bay and stop the wars from coming and protect the heads from rolling, that it's like some part of me is missing. I feel like a hodge-podge, a hedgehog, speeding around and around in lost wonder trying to find something but never quite sure what.

Is writing truly the only distinctive, certain characteristic I have, with no contradictions and carpenters and changes? Is it the only solid footing I have on the edge of tomorrow? Am I not much else, with as much substance as a sellophone?

Everything seems to cancel, make me some sort of odd creation of jumbled things that don't seem like they would fit right at all, but enough glue was pumped into me that practically anything seems to stick.

I'm covered in glitter and polish, getting thicker each day, making me someone new with each passing coat. I'm not gaining weight, so is my inner soul just melting away?

Can a person just become polish? A person who creates themselves instead of something made, genuine, and real? Am I even Grace anymore, should I adopt a new name as if to show the difference that has taken a hold of me since my name was born years ago? Will I reach the point that when someone wants to know me and starts to chip the paint away, that by the end there is nothing behind the color at all? Will I become nothing but choices and farces to the point they are me?

I have no clue how to get back. Can I? The paths behind are gone, the bread I've been crumbling to save my path was gone years ago, as the Chesire Cat promised I'd find my way if I had nowhere to go. But guess now I have no way and have somewhere to go, and he's not to be found. Typical.

Do I want to get back? Am I too attached to my polish now?

My polish was layered to make others happy, so who am I without others, without the affections and pleasing of others? I don't know. That's terrifying. I can't do alone, and I have led myself here more and more with each passing day. I don't think I can be alone ever again, or the Jabberwocky will certainly **** me. I wish it was a maybe, but for once I can't even rely on those.

Guess I better keep on layering the polish and glitter, trying to find a semblance of who I once was. Maybe a mix of now and who I am? Possibly that could work.

Now only if I knew who I was at all.

That would make choosing polishing colors much easier.

The tea sits
Death collecting different scenes
I’m stressed
Such a mess with the reaper next to me
Life vest on my chest
And I couldn’t really see
Long steps to unrest and I’m bent reality
Still
The fragments breathe
Will deliver and I’m keen to the quiver
Arrows preen
The apple’s novelty
Real
Surreal it seems
The venom makes sin of me
A little sliver the beast
Disturbing the honesty
Feel
The havoc see it in the light
And let it seek a little strife
Collapse in dreams it’s still alright
Just follow me and

Days go by
And the days go by
And the days

Fall next to me
They wither in seasons
Oppressive tendencies
Observe the winter casualties
With frozen blood and splinters
Unruly royalty for dinner
The bloodline isn’t coiled
So they haven’t found a winner
The peril focused
Elapsed so nobody would notice
It wasn’t hopeless
Ascension hadn’t found a locus
Scrambling the frequency
A remedy just like unbroken chains that lead to purity
As if the marks of shame were lotus
Petals
Drinking deep amidst tequila dreams
Settled
With that much alcohol I’m bound to see
The difference
What it takes from me in travels
Hollow ships that creak and battle with my frenemies
Just trying to find some ******* peace
Scattered
A little crazed
A little battered
Hazard
So many names
Poetic ******* is my favorite
And it’s said with sharp tongues and flagrance
Art forms and a cadence
Just trying to count the ways that

Days go by
And the days go by
And the days

Make clouds break
Unraveling the seasons
Couldn’t fathom all the reasons
Left to brandish all the pieces
Couldn’t handle all the artifacts
To me the voice of treason was a pretty ****** father that I couldn’t wait to see
He left scars
Gave me emptiness to seek the stars
I grew lost
With a tendency to keep to bars
Some new parts of me I never noticed
Please
I wasn’t hopeless
I’m just barely even getting started
Some new paths
Chasing fantasies I seek to harvest
Undo traps that I set to self destruct the progress
Parallel to heavens gate
I’m aiming for the secret garden
Eyy
So catch me gliding through the waves as

Days go by
And the days go by
And the days go
-Whoo-
-Whoo-
-Whoo-
And the days go by
*And the days go by

In the lightly lit path in shown by the moon
I sauntered forward to face my doom.
I walked through the pond
Shallow water swirled against my ankles.
The water that lay below splashed
With every step I took.
Every drop was something I left behind,
Something to say goodbye,
Every tear I bared.
The familiar path I once knew,
Was now the mystery of the new beginning.

Many paths do we take
Many roads in our wake
Many bridges with their tolls

Onward travelers
bless us all
Heroes born to challenge's call

Obstacles vanish within our path
toil not with guiding staff

Wandering travelers throughout our life
we share our stories of good and strife
on roads of signs which way to take
to travel best for all's at stake

Lonely travelers is you and me
we merge at times
on roads
we share
and talk our journeys
of rough and smooth
and find our wisdom
in enlightened mood

This isn't the remedial rhythm your grandfather told you he listened to when he was a lad
This rhythm is the sole possessor of unfathomable depths
A melodic perception of what awaits at the steps of cognitive pools
Each bubble coalesces at the apex and pops with a reckless flush
Liquifed sound scatters and turns to dust
You can hear it on your skin
It's slight
But you can almost decipher what that muse was mouthing before you took the dive
Warning: Contents under forever
Sand does not absorb these notes
Infinitesimal grime only shocks and provokes
Until the boiling point is reached
The clock will strike half past infinity before you can even see
Your reflection's hymn ripple across the well of eternity

The last words of an upstart
Coming into their own
Feels like the heart stopped but the fire has grown
Wild and strange
Bristles with energy
****** expression unchanged
The face of adversity might’ve put on some weight
Surface unearthly
Distorted and framed in odd spotlight
Reflection is way beyond my means but I’m alright
The waves stay unchanged
Adamant in resolve and I’ve learned from the same mix of granite and seasalt
Great leaps come grand skyfall
I wish you sun rays
          Sometimes I even wish I could stay
But we have our own fates
They clashed for a time but now we part ways
Just til the next time our paths cross and blaze trails across the skyline









                                                ­        Whirlwinds and paradise
                                                        ­Never missing the heartlines
                                                      ­  Forever kissing the starlight

Love ain’t for the faint of heart
Cause it wrecks your soul and leaves you scarred
Let breath unfold underneath the charred remains of your patience
Soulmate remains nameless
In place a name wrought with memories of sacred
Until one day they express that you ain’t ****
Writhing in pain and your days thin to ways you can stay numb
In waves the hate sung
False anger with your fate strung on threads of late night drinking
Endless hours of thinking about how it all went wrong
You second guess your first kiss with palms balled up in fists
Straining to remain calm it just doesn’t fit
Voids draw you into the abyss
Your heart skips
Stops
Mind is in manic shifts of agony and dissonance
The lights gone
Darkness sits with faces drawn in prisms
Explains the end and the beginning are just lessons all much weather
The wounds fester and rip at your intestines
Sheer dread and suddenly convalescence
The scars you bear now filled with poise and wisdom
Knowledge and room to expand your own decisions
Each grain a possibility to new depths
Lovely, really
The way life tends to find ways to keep you sun-kissed under cloudy skies

Splintered decisions
Now here’s the fun part
Finding which way is quickest to the stars
The quietest outro with the detour to mars
Despite all the downpour I’ve cut through and charted a path to the new
Looked past what you’ve put me through
I know I’ve done the same
All this time and the shame still plays in the back of my brain
Symphonies of deceit and false image of grandeur
Reliquaries built on the blood of the meek
High and mighty was the sheep
Lofty in aims getting fat for the feast
Deigned to believe it a wolf and was greeted with punctured lungs
Blood spilled from the throat of the unsung
Devoured on behalf of its insolence
Now the grave screams to be undone

At last I return to where I begun

Drawn on strings of moonlight visions are whispered in love notes and poetry
Future brushstrokes on the echoes of eternity
Enigmas in candid but if you look closely
Sun petals
Soft tempos
Giving solace and solstice to the sun-kissed and weary
Delicate and hardly above skylines and kiss me’s
Daydreams and the uncanny act of tripping on galaxies never lasts through the laughter and the sadness in the symmetry

Despite the next level of genesis in trinity
Stands the heretic consumed with the brevity of setting free
Amassed and exhumed the expanses of longevity
Sporadically bloomed now the tragic is ahead of dreams and shivers in the night
Unparalleled and strung by kites and carousels and river streams
Never made of sense in seems the abstract is the kin that breathes in metaphors and similes
Terraforms and then it leaves entranced within lost reverie

Such is love and loss and finding peace

And across the stars I’m still finding me

When you were younger everyone asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up.
For most kids their answers were "Doctors, Astronauts, Firefighters, etc." things that the people asking knew they would never become.
But they just let them live the dream for awhile.
Then later on in life they get asked the same question once they were older.
The responses then were "I don't know." "How am I supposed to know?"
How do they except a reasonable answer when we aren't being taught the things we need to know in order for us to make decisions that could affect us for the rest of our lives?
In order for us to grow up we need to find our own paths and go down our own journey's.
We have to make mistakes and learn from them.
That is what growing up means.
Taking chances, making memories, and going after the things you believe in.