As a kid your parents always tell you not to go in the deep end till you can swim.
But not mine, she threw me in, told me sink or swim.
Oh how I sank like a 90 pound rock.
Oh how I hit the bottom with bone breaking force.
Oh how I tried to scream but was welcomed with lungs full of water.
Oh how she turned her back, to busy to care.

I died that day, the thing that swam up was in fact not me, she began to welcome it with open arms...

Till she shoved it back down too,

The day I was born,
I lay in your arms, too young to smile up at you
My eyes still black, you called me Lucifer
but they faded to the purest blue

Father, I was so fond of you
and 'Da' was my first word, how proud were you
when you heard me say it from my tiny drawn lips
And now I dare not to breath your name

I was just an angel in the presence of God
and from heaven I was sent home, sent here
You cut my wings and let me fall
but forgiveness is not something I'll ever ask for

You appeared to me as something else,
a chauffeur without a hat or taxi sign
a bank with a voice that spoke of favours
You feel I'm forever in debt to you

But money is not a substitute for love,
Nor are conversationless car rides in the dark,
You're a God and I'm just a girl
who called you "Daddy" in quotation marks

Running through the nursery door
The loss tugs on my heart once more
I smile, I know that you'll have fun
It's me that is the lonely one
On the train I think of you
Your smile, your laugh, it gets me through
Through the day, although work distracts
It doesn't take away that fact
Your are a constant in my brain
I check my mobile once again
I wonder what you've had for tea
I wonder if you think of me
And then it's time, the homeward trip
Oh, my heart, it does a little flip
As I see you coming, arms open wide
My little boy, my joy, my pride

it takes a village to raise a child:
to rub the rust from years of wear,
to teach him not to cower in the face of adversity
when the other boys come around with bats aimed at his limbs.
he must be led back to mother’s house;
she will take one look at his pouting lip, trembling gateway
to his muted mouth,
and she as well as the others will move mountains
to see him smile again, dimples and all.
perhaps he will not zip around the house as he used to,
as a young monkey swinging through the jungle;
but he will learn to find the forms of nebulae in his plum-bruises,
and he will learn that there is more to strength than a strong arm—
*there is more to fighting back than striking like a hammer.

Every time you look at me I melt a little more.
Wrapped up in your innocent face.
You idolise me.
My smile makes you smile again and again and again!
Arms outstretched I need no excuse to lift and protect you.
Absolute pure beauty.
A living doll.
My girl.

The silence of night
Interrupted by light

The calmness of day
Corrupted by a ray

The stillness of time
Interrupted by a crime

The innocence of a kid
Taken and hid

Small voice
Little choice!

I will always protect my child's innocence
For danger can lurk in unexpected places in this dark world.

Take heed.

I will watch, look over, guard, nurture, strengthen, bolster, teach, advise, protect, fight for my kids!

I promise a childhood of love and laughter!

Touch my kids and I will swoop down like a hawk hunting a mouse and I will tear you limb from limb! For there is no greater bond in the world than the bond between parent and child.

Pure Primal Instinct.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
hatchlings aren't able to fly,
though they think they are.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
in order to live
and to love,
part of me had to die.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
i would never be
as beautiful or as perfect
as the dove.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
i was worthless,
and if i wanted something,
i had to work for it.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
you were protecting me
from the outside world.
i didn't realize i was suffering.


my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
i couldn't trust anyone,
there were predators all around,
and when it rained, it poured.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
i told myself that
it was time to fly.
oh, it hurt, but still,
your words were never as soft as the ground.

my dad started smoking again,
but that's okay,
now we can share a cigarette
as he tells me about life being hard
and i tell him about how nobody loves me,
but then he will throw the cigarette on the ground
and hug me so tight, i'll actually
believe his lies.

///

It is very easy to bear a child
when you are a good parent or not

It is also not too tough to write some words
when you are a good poet or not

But it is too tough for a parent to grow up   
their child as being a real man

As it is too tough for a poet to make
a meaningful poem with those words

Though either you are a very good parent
or a very good poet

///
@ Musfiq us shaleheen

My poor heart
flip flopped ...
thought I saw
my mother

a double-take
proved me wrong
but not before
color left my face

I felt faint, foolish,
she's been resting
in peace five years
I sighed relieved    
then smiled
remembered ...