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Natasha Dec 2019
Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
Your eyes were bright blue and your hair wispy curls
We had guessed what you’d look like and then out you came
Our perfect baby exactly as planned.

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
And look at you now you’re incredibly bright
You work till exhaustion and that we admire
You’re seemingly perfect at all that you do

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
If only your brother would follow your lead
We just want him to have your motivation
How do you think we should help him succeed?

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
If only I had that body of yours
If only I had those arms and that stomach
But I could never be as perfect as you.

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
Why do you insist that you aren't my dear?
We all get upset but no you aren’t sick love
You are too perfect to hate yourself.

You are too perfect to see any faults
You are too perfect to cry to sleep.
Your life is perfect.
We knew you were perfect.
So be perfect for me dear, and go dry those eyes.
Natasha Dec 2019
I once went to outer space
I thought it might be beautiful
I thought I might be part of it
But beauty is misleading.

He told me I was safe with him
He said my body was like the stars
And when you’re twelve and insecure
That’s all you want to hear.

Cautiously I trusted him
I stepped outside one toe at first,
I poked my nose just past the door
I grinned at the unknown –

At once
I gasped–
My lungs collapsed.
And body froze in fear and pain.
Lips pursed, he shoved me further out.
“More or else” he screamed.

I cried for Mom.
I begged for home,
My tears solid in the vacuumed space.
But I was told that mothers don’t
Want a child *****.
Natasha Dec 2018
Throats hoarsen with daggered insults
A plea for control –
A threat of death–
A trust long frayed.

One arm reaches for the other
And uses it as a batting ram
A steady. beat.
Impounding on a vacuumed. chest.

And when hours pass
And scars are painted over
She provides flesh on a porcelain platter–
An apology for mistakes never made
She stares blankly beneath the sheets
And screams.
But hoarse throats make no sound.
Natasha Oct 2018
Each unhappy in their own worlds
They were driven together.

Then desperate for each other
They clung to their unhappiness

But now apart they soar:

Their weightless bodies drift
And when they pass
These two old friends–
Ghosts locking eyes–
Glide without a smile.
Natasha Sep 2018
First I fell for your eyes
With hazel specks and inviting guise
Then I fell for your laugh
Uneven and hearty and somewhat shy.

Soon I fell for your hands
Then your lips, your brain, and incredible drive—
Your truths, your dreams, your curious smile
Your biggest regrets and most convincing lies.

And now I’ve fallen for you.
And all at once it feels jeopardized—
I fear to confess
Those 3 little words that
Historically have been so weaponized.
Natasha Jul 2018
my past self was afraid
that letting you go
meant letting go of
a piece of myself.

I wish I could tell her:
that is how you will
Find Yourself.
Natasha Jul 2018
Step by step she's trodden on
Her jeans are stained
Her blouse is torn.
Two toes edge the crumbling cliff
She turns behind–
But alas! She slips.

And down she plummets
Down, down she falls
Her eyes are dazed
Her lips forlorn.

But as she reaches
Not one yard saved
Strong talons grasp–

To home she’s dragged.
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