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Alex May 2020
There's a mom out there who is staring down at her legs with so much anger and pain she can barely see.

There's a mom, with no proof she recently cleaned the entire house, she tries to calm down her toddler who has yet to sleep.

There's a mom, with tears and a loud mind waiting until she wins back control of her emotions before she ***** something else up.

There's a mom all on her own and no therapy/counselling that worked, she began to build her walls again for the last time.
Tired of judging my every action. Will I ever be enough?
Alex Dec 2019
Why is death so evil when
people turn the other way pretend you didn’t speak those four words
Yet, when others die from other causes
talk enough of it?
Alex Dec 2019
How can you love me more than words describe but when I see myself I just feel shame and empty inside?
How can you be so happy to see me but I can barely look in the mirror?
How can you be so afraid to lose me but the mere thought of dying brings a smile followed by tears?
Alex Dec 2019
A few minutes ago I hate myself a bit more than I usually do. I cut my thigh. One single cut, but it was at that moment I realized I was...alone. I can’t tell my mom she’d be upset. Couldn’t tell My brother he’d tell mom. Couldn’t tell My other brother I was scared to. I also wanted to die but couldn’t because of my son and I hated that. I also hated that I hated that. 1 year and 1 month. 13 months. 395 days. Gone. Because I was a weak.
When I wrote this I was a single mom. Now I’m back with my sons father and things are getting better and everything WILL be ok.
Alex Dec 2019
I don’t know and nothing is all I feel;
it’s all I think. My muscles aren’t responding or maybe my brain just didn’t tell them to do anything
I don’t know.
My eyes however haven’t stopped flowing. Other than my heart, which I feel being behind my eyes, seems to be working
Tara Oct 2017
Empty rooms and empty chairs,
No one present here nor there.
Week by week I stand alone,
And when it ends is still unknown.

I fill the emptiness with puzzles and games,
And try my hardest to not blame.
But every single time I've tried,
I feel a darkness grow inside.

I loathe for this, I loathe for that,
I loathe myself for being fat.
I loathe my feeling so many things
That aren't grounded realities.

Things like thinking I no longer look nice,
All because he's stopped telling me every night.
And things like he just doesnt love me as much,
That he'd rather be far away and such.

A part of me knows that these things aren't true,
And that thinking they are is a certain miscue.
But it's hard to look up when I'm all by myself,
So I hide all my worries on a deep mental shelf.

And there on my shelf shall all my fears stay,
As I make myself live each and every day.
I put on a smile and don't let anyone know,
That deep down inside, I truly feel low.
Being alone for so long just opens doors for my mind to wander and over think things.

— The End —