You already own
the route to my heart
so why not use it.
You already know
how I feel about you
open my hardened shutters.

Take an ax and smash the lock
into hundred thousand pieces.
You only own that power,
another will not succeed.

Nobody keeps watch
no dog still guarding here.
Leave Cupid's arrows out of sight,
you have already touched my heart.

Am I not deserving the truth?
Know how you actually feel?
Are you so desperate to hide from me?
Begging you to be real

Who are you underneath lies?
Best friend or simply a fraud?
Play such a convincing part
Tempted to applaud

Where you go without me
You leave me here alone
Is it so ******* difficult
Answering your ringing phone?

When did you start losing interest?
Was it there in the first place?
Was our relationship only a distraction?
Grew to take up too much space

What changed us into someone else?
Love used to be deep and so strong
Asked the question a million times
You refuse to tell me what I'm doing wrong

Why must you play games with my emotions?
Trust you break like a toy
Say one thing then do another
You're like every other boy

If you want
See other people
Why bother telling me you don't?
What good does getting my hopes up do?
Promising to do things you won't

Am I ugly?
Do I get on your nerves?
What is driving away?
Not too late to turn this around
Do you want me to stay?

How can you love yet rip my chest open?
Silence and the absence of your touch
Back and forth puzzle is driving me crazy
Can I stop loving you so much?

I realized yesterday,
that I've written many poems,
but only shared a few.
I think it's because I've convinced myself,
that my words are too much,
and that no one wants to read another tragic tale.

No one wants to hear about me,
my messed up emotions,
or my dead friends.
No one wants to read about,
the days I felt like I was drowning.
There's no point in sharing what others find boring.

But then again,
it helps when I share.
I feel like even when no one seems to care,
at least I got my thoughts out there.
At least there's a chance that someone who's struggling,
will see that they aren't struggling alone.

So from this day forth,
I won't hold back.
I will pour my soul out for the poor and unfortunate.
I will tell you the stories of heartbreak,
I will tell you about the one's I've lost.
Even if you don't care to listen.

vast and impressive views saturate your existence
day to day they alter, shift and evolve
with open eyes, you will see
with eyes shut, you will feel
with emotion, you will desire
fill your cup with the sights unfolding before you

Brian Hill - 2020 # 253

I am a open book ,
It's not hard to read me when I pour out my emotions to you .
So when you'll tell me you don't understand me ,
I will never say you have a hole in your heart .

Balance
Comes in the morning
Before chaos
Has settled into its afternoon
Routine, I pause
In these moments
Hands open and flat
Slowly breathing, allowing
The light to capture
Me evenly