i’ve drowned in sorrow regularly as if you couldn’t tell from the saltwater tracks running down my cheeks or the gasps of air that i pull into my lungs before the suffocating starts again but i’ve suffered my personality is secretly drenched from sorrow every grandiose display of life is soaked in tears and yet i still say that i’m okay because i am and i will be because i will learn to lie on my back admire the thunderstorms raging around me and just float
Troubled, Crying, Red, eyes The bottle containing Tablets The tablets help Tireless exhaustion knocks the bottle Tiny white dots Tick away on a white surface Transparent to my vision Too many to count Try to close my eyelids To rest interminably Two, four, eleven, Twenty is needed.
The mist often lifts in the presence of the sun The same way my heart does, and the way I hold air in my lungs You seem to make the dark days feel light And when my eyes catch yours there is nothing better in sight You make my pulse quicken when you touch my skin Now I know how Henry felt when he looked at Anne Boleyn Trust now that what I say to you is true Due to our time together I've reached a break through You really are all that I need You coarse through my veins, so not to lose you, I choose not to bleed
The rain is pelting our skin I stand outside crying; Asking you what I did. The rain touches your skin and makes me aware that my hands haven’t been close to you in weeks, maybe months. I wished that we'd have a perfect life I wished that you'd never leave me I told you there’s nothing to forgive You fell out of love. It's hard for me to say, it's okay. I know you're happy without me. I'm jealous of the girls that you take to bed. I'm wondering who's next to you. I'm jealous of the love that was for me; now belongs to someone new. I wished for you. I wished that you’d come back. I told you, that I'd be here. But I always thought you'd be right back. But the only thing that was true, You weren’t coming back. I was just a lonely girl that clouded your “happy bubble” I wish you the best. I wish... I was the best. There's nothing to forgive. I stand outside crying. As I watched you walk away for the last time, I realize that happy without me, So I guess I’ll be happy without you too.
I once told a man "I could never make things okay in life, but they're going to be okay now" Then I cut skin from skin And I waited to die
Waiting to die is a funny thing Its like the waiting room at the doctors office Time slows down And you're left inside your own head Mind begins to wander And no matter what you think see or feel you're brought back to it Why you are in this spot right here right now Which for me was bleeding out in blue star wars bed sheets Not quite a waiting room
They say when you want to die to call someone So I called him He was drunk and ****** And he told me to ******* So I did I ended the call and ended my strain of consciousness Few more cuts and blacked out
Now I know you're wondering And no I didn't die Turns out I'm terrible at dying Who knew right
But it's been a year and a half since that night And it's finally okay
Dead inside, no one told me I was going to **** this much at life.
