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Paige Schanely Feb 2020
two weeks ago we had our not-breakup
and though i do not miss you
it’s not like i can help the way i don’t steal glances at you
the way that i don’t feel an ache in my chest
when you laugh from across the room
no, i definitely do not think about you all the time
and i certainly do not wonder if you miss me
you would never catch me dreaming about us being fixed
no, you would never catch me mourning
this not-relationship
after this not-breakup
Paige Schanely Feb 2020
your laugh echoes in my memory
gentle and sweet
both things you are not
then again, someone’s joy looks nothing like their sorrow.
Paige Schanely Feb 2020
you were like cigarette smoke
i breathed you in
and blew you out
and in your wake
you left a feeling like no other
as you made it harder to breathe
as my lungs turned black
and my cells died

there’s beauty in pleasant destruction
Paige Schanely Jan 2020
oh, your love has leeched my pitiful soul
****** the life from my bones and broke my heart
sending me reeling, lost, out of control
what a let down, you were my brand new start

you were the universe, i was a speck
you left me at my worst, used me at best
broke my heart to pieces, left me a wreck
how can i tell of this ache in my chest

but when the mourning comes and goes, i will
have known you, as your true nature grows forth
somehow, you’ve managed to destroy and ****
yet, my hope for a new ending unearths

when you decided to forsake my love
i wrote this poem in memory of.
this is a "sonnet" except i have no intention of learning about stressed and unstressed syllables so it's not a true sonnet but it does have the correct rhyme scheme and syllables per line. oh well. I tried.
Paige Schanely Sep 2019
i climb into the shower
after seeing you for the first time in a month
and i sit and cry
as the water streams down my back
and down the drain
i thought i missed you
so what the hell was tonight?
oh it’s all wrong
i thought i missed you
but turns out that i miss the way you made me feel
but change has a habit of bringing out the worst in me
so i’m sorry if i seemed sad
because i don’t love you like i used to
sorry it didn’t feel the same
because i’m just upside-down and backwards now
i had an awful Saturday. i'm just really confused now.
Paige Schanely May 2019
i stood tall
you saw me
you begged for me
to return
so return i did
and so as simply as things fell apart
they came back together
you wanted me around
i wanted me around
couldn’t be simpler than that.
this is the sequel to How it Fell Apart, but you don't need to read it to understand this one (though i recommend it!)
Paige Schanely Apr 2019
you
anxiety
better than me
leader? you ask
i nod quietly
your arms
my tears
my arms
my fears
opening up
feet step out of time
first dance of many
your car
how are you?
a quiet “good” from the passenger seat.
“you give me hope”
i give you hope
“you make life good”
i make life good
breakdowns & friendly forehead kisses
ranting and food at your house
smiling.
laughing.
breaking.
standing up.
bad decisions.
anger.
anxiety.
my mom’s car
not saying goodbye.
one week.
your face
heart drops.
two weeks.
new york
old times
three weeks.
distance
your words?
world stops.
one month.
“keep your head up”
i keep my head up
“keep holding on”
i keep holding on.
but i don’t do it for you
my friend
i do it for
me
OKAY i'm posting this even tho i don't relate to it anymore. why is it that the second you stop feeling bad or solve a problem, when you look back, the solution seems so obvious? idk. this is a poem about a situation that isn't hurting me anymore. enjoy
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