Lay beside me one last time,
Allow your tears to soak the sheets of our pretense,
Clutch my hand while your teeth pounce on your lips,
Always trying to hold back your gasping cries,
But your face still shrieks and deafens my ears.

Lay beside me one last time,
Staring at each other in devoted distaste,
My lips giving you a soft smile of a guilty goodbye,
Your eyes starting its spasm of unspoken begs,
Always flashing our buried memories in one last attempt.

Just lay beside me one last time,
Just one last time stare at me
So I can mouth the false words
'All will be fine'
Then your eyes will drift to sleep believing,
my one last lie.

Just wake alone one last time,
But for the first time with a full heart,
         And please believe... I'm begging believe...
                       I was just the most unpleasant dream.

5 years gone too fast
A memory, your scent, your voice
My love from the past
Your laughter plays in my head in white noise

The feelings are unknown
No way of identifying
From a teen I am now grown
Love is terrifying

They say time heals all wounds
But baby I’m barely breathing
Got me thinking from dusk till noon
I’m left without any reasoning.

I’ve changed a lot, I put up a fight
One thing kept me sane
Your love went out like a light
But mine remains the same.

Eloquent lair,
esteemed and influential.
Spreading disasters
that make me mental.

Not about this repetition.
Locking me in a finite position.

With a moderate delay,
reinforcements arrive.
Reminding me that it is alright to thrive.

Maturing at a healthly pace.
Hoping to survive it all with grace.

our paths diverged for a while.
experiences and wisdom made their marks 
weaved themselves into our history. 
self reflection and maturity 
decluttered the space that we now inhabit.

when our paths converged again,
I was reeling from the impact.
my eyes and heart voraciously
immersed themselves in who he had become. 
the smallest details were of the most interest.

the convergence added to our foundation. 
the shared experience was sewn 
somewhere in the tapestry of our lives.
the bright red thread of our meeting
will always catch my eye.

I stood next to him
and felt the gap
of time difference

You don't forget your first true love
Or so we've all been told
In our memory they never age
Forever young and bold

As time goes by, the picture fades
When new love fills the heart
Forgetting words to favorite songs
And why we grew apart

We say that we've forgotten
It's forever in the past
But somehow, first love's memory
Just seems to last and last

It's like how you remember
The first chance you got to drive
It made you feel invincible
And glad to be alive

And so we view our first love
With all it's fatal bliss
The excitement of each stolen glance
The spark of that first kiss

Sometimes that spark ignites us
Then quickly burns and smolders
The flames are quenched by teardrops
Cried on someone else's shoulders

Then, when the tears are finally dry
And we've said and done it all
The love we swore we'd die for
Is the one that takes the fall

Though years may dull the image
We've created in our minds
Our first love always will be
Of a nature undefined

.

“You’re the one that I lean on”

Emotions
Emotions
Emotions.

How do I expose my ulterior when I had shut down my interior.
My motives remain different but still plastered with the same smile I put out on my exterior.

But this.
Slightly different.
Wholly honest.
Well I would hope so.
After all this is a piece with the heat of the moment.

Black and white.
White paper, black ink.
Nothing more, hopefully nothing less of the truth.

Within, without your pain or mine.
I want you to have your specific happy ending.

If you do believe that happiness is non existent and your toxic fully carries you and makes you feel.
Nothing to do with being alive. It just makes you feel.

Then let your toxic consume till the day your soul tells you otherwise and pleads for you to settle.

Let what you want and dream of happen now.
I wish you nothing but all that you desire.

There’s never ever any negativity that I would wish for you.

But admittedly my pain will always be written and if you take it as a jab to your chest.
Truly do not.

I only express my truth to poetry.
Don’t let it make you think negative of yourself.
Allow it to show that I’m human, I hurt, I feel, I love and laugh.

Just find your own Happy ending.
I’m radiating positivity to you.