idyllic steps
are bare
in green
make months
in golden
year the
gavotte in
her little
black dress
that the
music of
spring in
vapor of
the string
makes her
frosty as
the hills

i have never understood when
someone tells me that snow is beautiful
the shimmer of white dust
settling like a veil on the now dying grass
the grey clouds they’ve descended upon
the yellow of dog **** giving it its only color.

how is that gorgeous?
don’t you want to make a snow angel?
let’s go sledding!

i want the summer
i want the springtime
i want to open my sunroof
feel the cool breeze on my skin
take of this ******* hoodie
go outside
go on a walk
look at the trees
remember that people exist.

i’ve never liked flowers
i don’t have a good sense of smell
but I would take the pain of a beesting
over the tears of a snowman any day.

im missing
from my own
existence

The arrival of life
Something new is beginning
Before my very eyes
The world does not try to hide it
I’ll be replaced even before I’m buried
But I do not resent you
I’m not jealous of what I’ll miss
I’ve already lived my lifetime
And that’s all anybody gets.

My body slows
As gravity has it’s way with me
My mind is slowing too
Slowly the neural network is going dark
And with everything slowing down
What does time do?
It races ever faster
Our first day was longer than last week.

The page is turned once again
As a eulogy of winter is recited
While the weather outside steadily
Changes the season
As the sun seems to shift
Towards the North
Until it reaches its maximum height in the sky.

I see the leaves regain life
And flowers sprout from the ground
Blossoming the earth
With new shades.
The Vernal ground develops
As I can see the dirt slowly begin to give
Between my feet
As the ground in which I stand
Has no seasons.
Its nature is unknown
And already it rots at my feet
It’s as though even nature
Has an understanding
That soon is my time to go.

we sit and try to name all the stories we barely remember:
supposedly, as if you have rolled your tongue like that your whole life.
it is march and as much as it pours
I still grimace as the truth rises
out, lustful for air and understanding

(don't you remember,
every dreary november
that girl, meek and bolder
with a chip on her shoulder
unsteady, not ready
to fall down, heart out
shattering onto the muddied ground
reaching out, then
deep down inside
no tools
trying to hide . . .
but how long will you choose not to see?

don't you know, young one,
then there was nothing you could do,
don't you remember, her, that girl,
that girl she was you?)

the rain drip, drips on the lawn
and I hold the handle tighter. take a sip and sigh.
the soft rays gleam on the walls, our hands, where my lips just touched
and we watch them dance in the occasional light,
and we sit reckoning with the wisps in our hearts,
to be unafraid of the morning, and when the water rises

Soft-spoken with the loudest presence in the room
A March wind that caresses through
Petals of daffodils in bloom
A salted sea
Stinging fresh faces under the moon

Eyes blue like the world under cloud-covered dusk
Eyes like the clouds and everything beneath them, his dusk
He returns to his place by the sea
The new moon brings new clarity

One foot in front of the other
We walk
March through town
Wearing our statements
Pride and strength
I walk
Step by step
Expressing support
For equality
One foot in front of the other
I march
To remember him
His smile and his friendship
Every face I pass
Replace with a memory
Of his gracious heart
And our witty conversations
I walk
In a group
Expressing pride and strength
Rallying in cheers and waves
To feel unity
To feel a part of something
I march
His ghost leads me
I keep watching for him
In a crowd of faces
Knowing with every step
I am closer to his memory