I thought I was so poetic

I shrug now, but I though I was revolutionary,
so quirky-
Beware the Ides of March,
I had just read Julius Caesar for the first time,
Beware the Ides of March,
that little kid, me, he was so creative,
so caring, so funny,
so
sad
oh, little me was very sad,
only a year apart from now, yet still
little me, I thought I was so different
I thought I would make a change, last year, today
March 5,
I’d warn people beforehand as well but,
honestly, it was a code for “help me,”
I’d say “beware the ides of march” jokingly,
only-
I wasn’t joking I meant it
I said it again, I would say
Beware the Ides of March
keep in mind, wow, what a sad kid
I would say it again,

jokingly.

The first day, March first,
day 1, first day of march
I met realization;
I’d often stop throughout my day, in shock
fear
hesitation
March 2nd,
oh,
this is the month
March 3rd comes fast
I sit
I sit in my room and look around,
this is the week, I thought to myself,
I kept moving
March 4th
I was quiet,
at first,
then remembered, tomorrow
March 5th
I had to be happy I had to be loud,
today was the day after all,
I would be remembered
I would be loved
things would be okay
after today,
like a sacrifice.
I treated life like a sacrifice,
why?

March 5th,
Beware the Ides of March,
Today,
One year

Beware the Ides of March;
today a year ago I wrote my suicide note,
from a year ago to today, i will have been standing here,
alive,
I survived
I didn’t follow through with it,
no, it wasn’t fear that stopped me,
it wasn’t lack of commitment,

Something just didn’t let me go that day
and I looked up
I stood up
I kept going

I didn’t have a single suicidal thought today
A year ago today, I tried to **** myself
but today,
Today I am okay

Step into line
I'll follow yours,
if you follow mine.

Let our boots click,
let this feeling stick
let this moment last
hold on tight and I'll swing you fast.

Step in step,
March along,
Step in line
as we sing our  song.

March, you're full of life now
March, don't you worry
and I'll show you how.

She's a good girl,
with a lovely smile
You're a good man,
but its single file

Wait your turn,
hold out hope,
your dance isn't done
this march ain't through for you.

Soon she'll be back in your arms,
you just march along, and sing your song.

March, you're full of life now
March, watch and I'll show you how.

Deftly, gently, carefully yet confidently
pursue yet don't crowd,
love, yet from a distance.
Encourage and support,
her life is more important than "our life"
her heart is more precious alone,
than it is in your hands.

March along and sing your song,
March alone and march for her.
Win her friendship, before you win her heart.
Win her trust before you win her hand.
Be the friend she's prayed for,
Be the man she needs you to be,
not the man you think to be.

March as if everything depended upon it.
March and don't you ever quit.