Slipped into internal madness
Can you hear the mime speak?

Street light flickered fifty times
**** the crickets? chirps no more

Greed and violence seeks all pain
Black butterflies fall to the ground

Brick stained walls swallow me whole
Mercy is the scorned woman sober

Identity mistakes visual sight
Wake up from swollen fist of the ape

Fly through the silver and black wires
Fear gripped reality slapped stupid

Sun over the hills
barely there but
you still spark.
Wickedly mocking my every move
state your motive or give it up.

I can tell by that look in your eyes
that you mean trouble
but the aura in the moon
is hazey.
Can't read my mind but
neither can Houdini.

I search for nirvana
and attain immortality
don't waste his time or
blood and wine ye shall dine..

Sweat and Wastelands...

In the serenity twilight time, we were just breathing in the deep orange color air.
We could feel only our young heart beating were resonating regularly.

Finally, your trembling lips and husky voice it just finished voice changes devote the long silence.
.......Te quiero

He squeezed out the word from parched throat, then ran away.

I didn't know even what is "love" means, but he released his fire arrow towards my  innocent heart so deep,,,so deep.
I was just shivering for inexperienced shock and felt there were something which started to burn myself from inside.

Ah, His unstable low husky voice.　
Exhilarated redden face.
Glazed auburn eyes like crystal
Thick pale pink lips were seemed so dry
A scratch on his shaved face.
I had never thought about he is certainly growing.....

..................What dose he want me to do?

Asking myself again and again...but could't find answer.
Becoming afraid of greeting tomorrow.

...................Tell me, what's goin on between us.

feeling dizzy and crouched down on the spot.　
With deep purple darkness it lies placid and sheltered me so silently.

1 AM

Cold
Tired
Alone

1 AM
And I'm writing this
Not sure what I'm feeling
Or am I feeling at all?

1:06 AM
Decision made
I feel empty
Lonely
Hurt

1:08 AM
Going through our messages
His touch
I miss his touch

1:10 AM
I end this
Unsure of whether
I am mad or in love
Or madly in love

s.j.d

I say "Hello?"

Automated Female Voice: (you know the one)

"All of our representatives are currently busy with other calls, please hold. Your call is important to us."




"*****!!.... YOU called ME!!!"


*click

My old great-aunt Elaine with her withered hands gave me $200 and beaded handbag
"This your mad money," she told me, as we sat on that nursing home couch, "And it ain't for your purse. This goes in your shirt, where only you know you got it."
The assisted-living nurse chuckled to herself. They got along, my great-aunt and her.
"Why?"
"Cuz if you get angry," she said, in that Marlboro-raspy voice of hers, "And you gotta go, you walk out on your date and you leave 'is ***. And then you got your money for a strong drink. And your cab."
The nurse laughed
My aunt re-situated herself on the nursing home couch. Elaine Dauterive. Her mind was going, and so was her health, but she was as regal as a queen on her throne in that moment
her fire-red hair, ungrayed, was her crown
No cape as royal as that sleeping gown.
"Don't you think for once second I can't take care of you, honey," she said in that creole drawl, and I knew what she meant
Because even after she'd gone I would have that mad money
All stuffed in my bra for when I needed it
Because she was older than time, for me, seeing things like
The Great Depression, World War II
What I read in history books
I'd be ****** if I took what she said with even one grain of salt because Auntie-Lane, I'll be ****** if I don't love you
And I know you're on your way out and
I'll buy you whiskey in the afterlife with some of that $200 cash that you busted your *** scrounging up for me
Southern hospitality at its finest
And those liver spots redder than wine adorn you like badges of honor for all of the years you've endured
My elder - creole woman, with a soul as fire-red as her hair, breathing more smoke than air
My old dragon
On a pile of gold: her mad money

I do no want to be angry
Anger is not an emotion you have truly felt
until you know how much it hurts
and how it unhinges your mind,
introducing scary new thoughts
into your consciousness

It keeps you up at night,
a feeling so intense that it interrupts
and erases all others,
leaving you
empty

It is a fuel,
but it burns *****
leaving debris and remnants
in the motor of your mouth

It pollutes every aspect of compassion
flowing through your veins

It will never run it's course and die out,
it sows the soil of your soul
leaving seeds of despair
reaping crops of destruction

Anger is not to be taken lightly because
it is the chemical manifestation
of all that is wrong in the world
finally
getting
to
your
head.