If I could grow to be 10 feet tall
I would be feared rather than listened too
It don't matter the size of me, my heart or my brain
But the amount of words, love and life I choose to emit
No one can tell you the answers
You have to find your love or loves in life
Your heart will glow and fill
Remember that wonderful feeling when you become so low


                                          «c.h.b»

back and forth
high and low
but how high can a Pendulum go?

how high can its cold steel float?
and just how low
will my Pendulum slow
to a gentle end.

No regard to wind,
only to the momentum within
a single steel shine
of the Pendulum's frigid, orderly chime.

In the hem and haw     of hesitation,
a lull of cloud hangs     low and lingering.

I should apologize for the days I am withdrawn. This is not what you signed up for. I should apologize for when I don't want to speak or communicate with touch or when I want to be without you but also do not. My indecisiveness is appalling: and I should apologize for that. But today I do not want words. I do not want to be felt because I feel you grabbing and pulling instead of caressing and comforting. You have not done anything wrong. I am just mean. I am just inside myself today and when you want to know what is up I want you to accept that I say the sky instead of pressing for more. My thoughts are poison right now. You shake me like a magic eight ball and I keep thinking try again later but saying not likely. I have the capacity to be kind but my words are pinpricks in your chest and every time I claw you with my numbness I inwardly cringe because I don't mean it, I am sorry, and I should apologize. But I can't. I can not bring myself to vocalize that I am not okay because you'll want to help and I don't want to be okay. Not yet. I want to hide in my closet and cry without company. I want time to myself today. But I don't want to hurt you. I am sorry. You are no burden. I am withdrawing. Not from you, but from me. I don't want to be kind, or resilient, or strong today. I just want to fold into myself, I want to be small and insignificant. I am tired of being fun and happy, it's tiring work. I need time to be low without an interrogation. I just want to be empty for a moment. And I should apologize.

Feel like the whole world has turned grey?
Feel like you are traveling down an abyss?
Feel like you are gonna hit the bottom?
Don’t worry, friend!
Life doesn't follow the laws of gravitation.
You feel it so you can rise and fly.
You only fall to rise higher.
A great surprise is waiting for you at the bottom!
Failure will leave you with sweet memories
Of your brave fight and endurance power
When it passes.
Failure is just another fleeting moment,
Which will turn you into a greater being
And it has no choice but to pass.
Remember one thing friend,
When you fail, don’t even by mistake
Add despondency to your life’s dictionary.
Just dream more, dream big,
Work just a little more,
For success is waiting for you around the corner.

there's nothing to see
i'm not free

i'm so hollow i cannot speak
there's this nothing to be

i wonder why everything's  
on a repeat  

who left his brain out ?
this virus will eat

there's nothing to gain from this
so why don't you leave me

alone with my words
i need some sleep

stop poking at my mind
with your drugs and your
shine so fine

makes me want to rhyme
on a piece of paper

i'm so glad we're still strangers
or we'll have nothing to speak

there's so much to be said
but no one knows how to read

to believe
too relieved

two seeds
can make a naked
forest breed

teachers don't teach
preacher won't preach

and it doesn't mean anything
because no one knows everything
there's always something
that cannot really sing

just an ugly face
with no voice

there's beauty
and then there's a choice

a noose to fill
you choose your thrill

everything kills
so why are you still

so afraid to die
tell me why

nothing means everything
when you know how to lie

to your brain
and see the magic
through closed eyes

life is tragic
the more you cry

jump off that balcony
to see if you can fly

if you make it
meet me on pluto

wear a tie

don't worry
if you cannot breathe

and there's no reply

i'd be waiting there
for you

where sky's not blue

holding a sign

that reads
nice try but
you're dead too