A name is a name
to which someone is giving

for how they act
or how they look

for what they do
or what they say

But the name you have given
me is none of the above

for I did not act how you say
I do not look how you think

I did not do what you whispered
I did not say what you spread

I am not fake
and I am not a loner

Because to be fake
is to act like someone you are not

And to be a loner
I would have to want to be alone

But I do not know who I am
so I cannot act like someone else

And I cannot leave this ****** house
because of the scars etched across my skin where your words inflicted them

I am not what you say I am
I do not what you say I do
I just try to be the best possible me there is
Without knowing me at all

There are so many things
So many reasons
Why I should care
About life
About people
Things that I can't learn to care about

I am a shut in
Alone and dry
But I never lonely
For my shadow
Holds me in the night
My reflection
Gives me conversation
I am my own source
Of entertainment

So many times
I've tried to reach out
Tried to be social
Tried to change my
Very way of thinking

But the darkness
As it lulls me to sleep
It ***** me in
Where I will forever be

i painted a picture on my wall
painted with the blood from my wrist
i wrote love with the knife she used
the knife she used to stab my heart
three times is all it took
and now i stare at this masterpiece
painted from a piece of me
a piece of me that was left broken
no one able to see
that it took my entire life to create it

NaNi

The wall shall not divide you,
Not in terms of one or two,
Instead it shall be loved ones,
Who hold the heart sliced through,
And should they share their daily bread,
Or offer sips of wine,
One must remember, that after all,
I am not their kind.