I decided I'm goin in.
Yall dun' slipped up and left me with a pen.
It seems lately I been under-drinkin'
Over-sober over-contemplating what's been really happening.

I'm usually a lot more subtle.

I give the benefit of the doubt like I'm a Catholic priest absolving ******' sins.
Confusing my honesty for reckless abandon-in
To your chagrin, just hecause you're unable to comprehend.

You don't move through this world in the shoes I'm in.

I bet no ones ever called you a sub-human.

Did that election make YOU question all your caucasian friends? Their motives, their thoughts, biases,
Lookin for Microaggressions?
Now those relationships are withered at the ends and it depends on larger hearts and open minds to try and mend and re-begin?
Because someone you love insulted ALL your kin.
Supporting someone who blatantly hates them.
Tunnel vision.Could only see what they wanted Sanctity of life only applies to babies aborted
Christians were thwarted!
How someone with a thumbs up from the Ku Klux have anything to do with what the Lord did?!

Granted, the deed is done and hey the truth is out!
They were wolves in sheep's clothes till the Pres. Came out
in broad daylight
He basically made it awright
to grossly generalize a race AND do so in plain sight
Now ALL the racist crazy folk are poppin  at the mouth.
On social media like the 50's in the segregated south,
Spewing hate behind a screename sittin' on they mama's couch
'cept we millenials are rowdy and we'll roll up at yo house.
How's it 2017 and we still schoolin' folk?
Gotta tell you Black  lives matter cause you actin like we dont.
In retrospect, it was for the best cause now we ALL woke!

Excuse me
if I'm in no mood for
respectability politics.  

We should not have to be
shiny happy people
holding hands
for you to
value my humanity.

I am not your pusher
I am not your *****

I will not stand aside
and hold the door

While you climb
and push me to the margins:
     • skip my footnote
     • ignore my humanity
     • take the credit
and more

I will not sit back
(hide my pain)
While you continue to
Slander my name
(steal my flame)

A desire for:
     •Equality
     •equity
     •fairness...
You fake.

My fire/my heart
Our creations/our art
**You take.

It's nice to see you again,
My old friend.

It's been a while since we met.
As far as I remember,
I'm the one who pushed you away.
You wanna know why?
Because it seems like your presence,
Slowly destroying every part of me.

But I can still recall the good old days,
When it seems like no one's here for me,
I know you're only two steps behind.
You know me more than anyone else.
But old friend,
Why does it feel like you have dark secrets?

Now I know.
Naïve minds, young people.
These are your victims.
You became also their friend,
When it seems like they don't have one.
But if you're a good friend,
Then why did you let them
To slit their wrists?
Is this how you keep someone at peace?

Old friend,
Can you hear their voice,
Screaming and asking for help?
How about those cries,
When they locked themselves into the bath room,
As they mourn to their despair life?
You're a great pretender:
You pretend like you care
When in reality, you really don't.

That's why I hate you.
A friend known by everyone
Suddenly became an enemy.
You ruined minds,
You ruined dreams,
A friend who felt home
But became disaster of many lives.

And now,
I can see you here again, in front of me,
Wanting to have place on my mind.
Now I know your deep dark secrets,
I don't want to be one of your victims.
I may have a vulnerable heart,
I may be naïve,
But you can’t control me,
As I'm tougher than what you think.

Good bye, old friend.
Our dark thoughts,
Our own demons.

How do we summarize our lives? If we were given the choice of one word to describe the life of each person, what would yours be?

The day we roared with infinite jest the
larder packed tight with provisions burst.
So much canned meats, tinned, pemmican
hardtack we had stored knowing our
journey north would be sufficiently trying
that sustenance would prove difficult.

The slog.  The slacking day when you rolled
off the sled, creviced.  Your voice booming blue
crystalline as we see, no escape.  Trapped and
the cans I hurl into the hole.

Hours I read to you lipped, curled into a
snail, a shell, a crocus of yellow
a dread of
finishing the story and saying to you there is
no
more.  So you cannot tell, when the pages have ended
I make up confabulate truth and fiction
embellish.  
Pretend the story line marches
forward decades and we are in the Amazon;
You’ve discovered
that the water
that seemed
guileless is crocodile filled.
They bite hard and
you can imagine.

All primary colors on the
floes, all glacial movement, slow to melt, fast to burn through
the colors of our arctic rainbow.
I had primed the lamp the last night, before that dawn, before
the ride in which you fell.  
The wick trimmed and each
consequential action of the day I placed
hanks of hair
neatly side by side into banks of snow.  
Under my cracked tongue is
a bump that rolls
mole like cyst.  

Partner of my travels to this cold realm, your self shelved.
Below:  Did you hear me whisper?  Asking why today
have I become.  
The whispered promise of holding
upright against the dark.  I thought.
It would be magnificent.  

Not even fanfare.  Or aurora borealis.  Or flight.
Yes dreams of flying.  
Yes dreams of ahah so it is after all.
I thought I would recognize the moment of unleashing.  
What makes the special now?
If I whisper Abandon I might hear you echo in the ice.  I might see your
boot, attached to.  A glove alone, unpaired.

The story they lived, the story they tell is one of each husky,
one by one, no longer.  Starvation and then there are none.
But we are in the Amazon, and it is a scorching hot day and there is
much to be explored until you fall into the river and get bit.

I take it all back.  
You laugh because I add flying monkeys which is
us pretending that we’ve explored
this terrain which looks like a bed
in a room and a chart.  
They cannot
stop your bleed, and so we begin again.

Black lives matter
When people quit making the distinction
Think about that
Before going off half cocked
With hateful thought

Black lives matter
Not a war cry, but a plea
An affirmation, united nation
A cry of passion and a
call to action
The coming together
Of "we"
All lives matter--or rather--
White lives matter
When the police say, please
Put the gun down, cease!
As our brothers and sisters lie deceased
In the streets
With their murders captured, viral, shared
Not a human, but a piece of meat

The enemy of the people
The enemies of "we"
Sit high upon their thrones
Dictating laws for you
And me
They tell us we are free
While they force us to our knees
Our enemy is not beside but
The persons above, who reside
"They" "the man" "big brother" "the suits"
Obama, Trump, Clinton--Bernie Sanders, too
United we stand, united "they" fall
And perhaps, on that day, we can say "all"

But for now
Black Lives Matter
To fight is our choice
The power is in the people and
Our collective voice
Stand together, make things better
And hear humanity rejoice