My last day

I spent the last night of summer with him and when i woke up it was fall. I saw him at a park I was swinging and my firends left me to go get sum to eat. tht when I saw him walk in the park with his skate board. All i wanted do was run. I cant fall for him again, no not again, when i just got over again. Even though I was going supper high, higher than my old self wouldent dream of. I jumped and for a minite i was flying and then I fell on my feet. I got courage and talked to him. For the first time in 9months, he said he liked the stars and we skated on his skateboard the rest of the night. I swear I still feel his fingers on my back as he pushed me while i saw sitting and skating on his skateboard. He ran after my car and gave me a high five. It wasent much but to me it was everything i could ask for. Yes I love him, i guess i never rlly got over him. But i feel like i conqored a fear, one of hights, and one of loving him. I spent the last night of summer with him, when i woke up it was fall. Ironic isnt it, its fall and i fell for him again.

This is honestly messing with my head. Is this what living is? Have I ever done it before?
When did things change? Did I really make that decision, or was it made for me?
No, I don't think it was. Other people decided to keep me alive, but I was the one who decided I wanted to live.
I'm glad too.