I had a dream,
There was a sunset,
It's the end,
It's time to rest,
There was a playground,
It's an escape from reality,
It's meditation after a personal conflict,
There was embrace,
It's the need for affection,
There was warmth,
It's happiness for where I am,
It's hope and unconditional love,
There was a sorry,
It's for mistreating you,
It's for hurting you,
There was you.
And there was me.
The marmalade light was settling in across a lonely playground. I was standing there, looking at the playground until I spotted a shadowed figure on a swing. I began to stroll to that mysterious person until I saw his face. The face was so familiar, his wondrous lips, his soft cheekbones, his affectionate nose, his curved jaws and his pondering eyes… It was Norman. I stood there watching him sit on the swing, his eyes looking back at me. I ran in for a strong embrace, he hugging me back the moment the tip of our fingers touched. My arms wrapping around him, like all the warmth and goodness of the world was being given to me. It felt so sincere, beautiful and heating.
I began to close my body onto his like two small puzzle pieces finally finding their true partner after too many trial and errors. My arms cling passionately onto his strong, calm shoulders. And my legs swinging from the other end of the wooden swing. Norman then began to converse to me, converse to me like he never had before. ‘I’m sorry’, he sensitively tells me ‘that I’m never there for you’. I don’t utter a single word or a single sound, all I needed to know was that he was sorry, and that he really did love me. I was so desperate to cry, but was so very warm, I felt like this was where I belonged, my home; on an empty playground with a handsome sun setting on its horizon giving a burning glow, and the boy I loved sitting on a broken swing, waiting for someone to take him away.
It was all quiet then, him just looking at the sun as if it was giving its last golden glow to the world, me enfolding into him like he was a child I had lost for so many years. And while the world was silently meditating, a million thoughts leisurely oozed into my mind like rich, dark chocolate lovingly melting onto fresh, red strawberries. Perhaps he wasn't there for me because he was busy with school, perhaps he was busy with drama, or perhaps he was busy... too busy…. talking to that girl that he is so adoringly devoted to.
The thought stayed inside my mind, touching every corner of my imagination. But, for some unknown reason, I had no feeling of envy or loathe towards her. Yet I could feel an aura of pure jealously hitting me. The figure sending those vibes, gave a tremendous shadow as he stood in front of the orange, vanishing sun. Watching me and Norman as we tightly embraced. The figure made me scared, like the night was already reining over the world.
30.03.2014
My Norman No More
