my inability to feel
plagues me
defective

the endless lies i live
the conversations in my head
they encircle me

please don't take it personally
i grow colder with each passing day

as quickly as love turns to hate
as quickly as hunter turns to prey

meaningless, empty words
meaningless, empty eyes
crying void
trying to expel

someone else to give me meaning?
no, i'd rather not
i'd rather die inside a hollow life

Empty we are born
Emptiness we savour
We create
We infuse within
Into the emptiness, we go

Like shadows
Made of nothing, only nothing
Yet when the wind blows
We flutter
Creating empty sounds
Leaving an echo
A trace
Of nothingness

cold air is burning my face but the feeling is muffled, far away.
i look at you, stoic menace.
you are a block of ice and i am a flurry of snowflakes, raging, cold, soft.
you ask me what the heart speaks.
i do not know how to tell you what emotion is, just like i do not know how to explain to you what i am.

(things far too familiar are seldom easy to translate into a language someone might understand, a language that is not your own, a language you've forgotten the taste of)

mountains on my shoulders feel lighter than they should, and you take lightness to mean of less matter.
perhaps you think these mountains have a hollow center, are made of feathers.
you and i are two different forms of water.
i have known ice, and you have known snow, years before today.
i have known stagnance, you have known change, you took the word like an icicle to your chest, falling too far into your cave.
pull me out, you say, and i am frost lining your windowsill.
leave me be, you say, and you are a dull fog, whispering to glass.
through the glass, we interact.
you are trapped.

You're so far away.
Are you even listening
To these words I
write for you?
Oh, so far away,
these messages in a bottle
are surely lost at sea.
Are you even out there?
I'm still lost and
alone and I
need you.

I rise with the sun and fill my eyes with light,
Then walk with my hollow bones and missing heart.
They won't notice, right?

I remember back when it was all so simple and carefree.
Grilled ham and cheese sandwiches and capris suns, grandma and grandpa's was the place to be.

You were always there.
Making jokes and poking fun.
Your time on this earth brought smiles to almost everyone.

When we grew older and things changed for us all.
We came to know suffering and taking a fall.
Family gatherings became less and few.
Sadness took a hold of you too.

You worked harder than most and deserved the best.
You knew love, family, and made it feel like home to us.
Now it has come, your time for rest.
It came too soon, happened too fast.
All we want is to rewind the past.

You will always live on in our hearts and memories.
In each of our smiles and all of our dreams.

You will always be there in the echoes of our laughter, in the salt of our tears, and in the hollows of our hearts.

i dont feel a thing and i cant lift a finger

look me in my hollow eyes and tell me, how can i be considered alive?

in the midst of apathy i am nothing more than a dead man,

and in its wake i am merely a ghost