The decision I made,
my mistake,
gazing in the mirror with myself to blame.
I often second guess myself to death,
I re-solicit every step,
I attempt to catch each minute as it comes to me,
Contain the recollections
and let them stay by me.
Now days,
all the children want to be insane,
self diagnose and fix themselves,
go around prescription pills.
Be that as it may,
my disorder can't be cured.
Self-disdain and selfishness tend to hold me
awfully close.
Attempt as I may
to keep it together
why is recuperation taking forever?
Trick the world,
just until I get better,
but maybe I'll be faking forever.
Endlessly I ponder what went wrong inside my head,
I don't have the answers, but I wish I did.
All the torment I can't clarify
won't blur the fear, the sadness, the pain of it all,
by the disgrace that is my mind.
