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Birdie 5d
It’s been said that old habits die hard
But how hard do I need to try
To make this old habit die?
The lengths I’ve gone to
In order to forsake you
The conclusion I have come to
This habit won’t die till I do
I think I’ll be stuck with you forever
Frances Marie Sep 25
"You said you would be here
through the thick and thin"
My body has been through it
And baby, my patience has been
strung out thin.

Addicts only know themselves best
They can't see you
Only past you
Into a projection of themself.

Back seat passenger
Guiding my relationship habits
The chords
That I play the best.

My go-to comfort
The only way I know to love best
Is a struggling person
In the woes of addiction.

One part - my mother's enabling
Another piece - my father's vice
Final product - my veins collected
as proof in a messy affair.

Doomed to repeat;
try holding things together
while they slip between my fingers.
Hoping for different results.

Every. Single. Time.
Self reflecting poem of my habits, and what it feels like to be the "fixer" of everything around you. Never ends, I hope someone can take care of me for a change.
Kyle Kulseth Sep 2
Hold on
Admissions...
The night and swelling sidewalks
Call to me.

Folding.
Submission.
Those blinking lights, a quickly
soothing need

Blue-white.
the walk signs,
I'm running past the end of
random chance

     Do winners ever quit when
               they're ahead?

Too many of these casino nights.
I never let them end, because I
     swear that Lucky Lil has eyes for me.

So I'll take my chances.
One more dance with these snakebite
     pints 'til I
can roll these X'd out lids
     over these swollen snake eyes.

Deuces.
I'm losing.
These sights and sounds made fuzzy,
buzzing slack.

Jackpot.
They have me.
I'm out of moves and fading
quick to black.

Odds are
I'm ending
the night wand'ring the sidewalks
with old dreams.

     Cuz losers never quit when
               they're ahead.

Too many of these casino nights
I never let them end because I
     swear that Lucky Lil has eyes for me.

But she's rolling shoulder,
rolling pupils and shooting
     weighted dice.
So roll my body out, over
     the curb, to midnight.

     Because I can never quit
               when I'm ahead.
TLA reference. I'm back baby.
Zywa May 11
My key does not fit

in de front door of my house --


My previous home.
Column "Nieuwe weg" ("New way", 2023, Ellen Deckwitz, in the NRC on August 21st, 2023)

Collection "Death on Cast"
Andreas Peter Sep 2023
Breath comes
Slow
and
Harsh
Through a filter of
Tar and
age
Comes faster, unbidden unbound un
invited
I stood, days of old and told myself
I
was. done.
Breathing, tar.
I guess
Tar, still holds an ember
In, my, chest.
Cigarettes to provide company at unrest
Man Aug 2023
What fresh invention,
Breaking with convention;
To press down with anger,
And drive firm with depression.
Comfort in the arms, of a
Thorny ex. Bathed in attention.
A hopeless obsession- the silenced
Tongue wags,
In this quiet procession.
Lauren Leal Jul 2023
I find myself in that familiar place
where wounds reopen
and the feeling of danger
beckons to race

Old scars wanting to tear apart
like a stray bullet to the heart
Old habits emerge so mindless
despite being met with kindness

I question if I've really healed
If these years have anything to yield
Uncomfortable is how I've felt
Do I peek at this hand that is dealt

I'm at a crossroad of old and new
Simply locked scared at what to do

Yet I know I will choose you

I will always wear my heart on my sleeve
No matter the times it's torn away
In the work I've done I believe

Will keep you beside me day by day

This 'uncomfortable' is my test
Trust me that you'll get my best
My work will not be undone
because what we have has just begun
Healing after a breakup is tested when to try to date once more. Those feelings will come back as a defensive layer, your reaction is everything
Good evening, your highness.
How is your sleep now in winter?
When leafless walnut trees show their smooth gray bark,
Effectively when all the trees seem mellow and ill
As if something is missing there,
Where the branches grow from their stem nodes.

Something is breaking there.

Your Highness, I am too young,
Something new still trembles inside me,
Something does not know how to let itself go
Along the road
And opposes its own nature,
I am like a newborn not accustomed yet to resignation,
I would like to succeed even if the odds are against me,
I would like to control the back-and-forth movement of the sun
As if it were a golden pendulum,
And

Then I awake and I am sorry
That I complained
It is winter time and everything seems to grow
And I am happy.

The light breaks into sparkles,
Life is an old habit, your highness,
Rebel sparks fleeing their mother’s eyes,
Like incandescent dust,
A Eucharist from centuries ago.
Zywa Jun 2023
Father chases me,

we run around the table --


three times, always three.
Novel "Kind tussen vier vrouwen" ("Child between four women", 1972, Simon Vestdijk, written in 1933), § 6, page 285

Collection "Inmost"
Hollie Jun 2023
Down on knees tying to clean up
last night brought the endless cycle
of breaking everything inside
I don't care enough to not care
I'm over it I think to myself
As though those words mean anything anymore
Sitting white knuckled jaw clenched
I want to give up every time you leave
But I put everything back in place
For everything to look like we're starting over
For when you come back it'll be okay
You can play house with my feelings
And I'll put a smile on
Hiding how tired I am to not mean more
Or worth being better for
Recognize toxic habits and relationships
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