today you asked me if i had a lighter
sorry, not in this jacket
i was never able to get you to let go of your cigarettes
you tried though, you got to 52 days! (or 54)
but that's fine, it's just a bad habit
i don't know if i should consider these bad habits
not bad unless i act on them
whenever i see you i want to run into your arms
i want to kiss you, i want to make you smile, laugh
but i can't
i quit those habits,
you made me quit
we caught the same bus on the way to school
you sat right in front of me
started fixing your hat...
no, let me do it
i wanted so bad to reach out and fix it for you,
i know i couldn't.
i had to keep my fingers busy so i wouldn't reach out and help
tears came to my eyes, i wanted so badly to help, but you don't want me
then there was your hood!
lopsided, wrinkled, it wasn't right
i had to fix it, i didn't
these habits, i have to quit
we were in class
you sat in front of me again
then moved beside a friend
i turned around
i looked at your hair
oh no, i had to fix it
it was so messy
i can't give it up
these habits came along 11 months ago
how do i quit something like this
how do i quit showing my love
soon enough maybe someone will come along and catch the same habits
buttoning your jackets, shirts, pants, fixing your hair, fixing your hood, hats, fixing your trucks on your skateboard, fixing your rough hands, fixing your nasty elbows, massaging you, someone will fix you.
i couldn't fix you as much as i tried,
i can't fix myself either.
but that's what was good about us, we were both messy and broken and we still kept on loving each other
*then you left
i keep on reminding myself that if i love him, i'll let him go
and sadly i am.
with the wrinkly hat, the lopsided hood, and the messy hair
i'm letting go
no more hugs, they've been reduced to high fives
are we in grade 5?
as long as i get to see you
in seven months i might never see you again