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The Habits of My Heart
Experimental Habits
"Like lost children we live our unfinished adventures"
20/Gender Nonconforming    warm, gentle, kind


david mitchell Apr 2017
I've got some bad habits.
I always feel bad,
My family hates me,
And I've never been rad.
Most my friends have been to rehab.
But I like my bad habits.
I'm made of bad habits.
Waking up once a day,
Wasting all my talent,
Sleeping all day,
Thinking all night.
They're all bad habits.
I've always been made of bad habits.
Never had a reason to feel glad,
Too empathetic or apathetic.
Had to quit school cause I went mad,
I tend to love being sad,
and I've never had a dad.
I have some bad habits,
But I love my bad habits.
I love too much,
I'm too alone to have a crush,
And I'm always out of luck,
But I still try anyways.
And they're my bad habits.
I am my bad habits.
how's that for something horrible that's adorable? is it adorable? probably not. **** it.
Eloise Rose  Mar 2019
old habits
Eloise Rose Mar 2019
old habits die hard

and when he doesn't die
he craws up next to you at night
arm on your waist
voice in your ear
"why haven't i seen you lately
my dear"

old habits will be the death of me
every time i get free
he knocks me down
onto the floor
he screams just do it
old habits has opened his door
just complete the ritual
just do it
no one will know
it's our secret
old habits
please keep it

old habits, old prisons

old habits die hard
i thought it would be fine
i gave into his lies
just one more time
but this time
i thought i was dying
i felt like i was dying
hunched over crying
i knew he'd never let me free
old habits has enslaved me
ve  Nov 2013
ve Nov 2013
today you asked me if i had a lighter
sorry, not in this jacket
i was never able to get you to let go of your cigarettes
you tried though, you got to 52 days! (or 54)
but that's fine, it's just a bad habit
i understand

but me
i don't know if i should consider these bad habits
not bad unless i act on them

whenever i see you i want to run into your arms
i want to kiss you, i want to make you smile, laugh
but i can't
i quit those habits,
you made me quit

we caught the same bus on the way to school
you sat right in front of me
started fixing your hat...
no, let me do it
i wanted so bad to reach out and fix it for you,
i know i couldn't.
i had to keep my fingers busy so i wouldn't reach out and help
tears came to my eyes, i wanted so badly to help, but you don't want me
then there was your hood!
lopsided, wrinkled, it wasn't right
i had to fix it, i didn't
these habits, i have to quit

we were in class
you sat in front of me again
then moved beside a friend
i turned around
i looked at your hair
oh no, i had to fix it
it was so messy
so... weird
so... different
so long

i can't give it up
these habits came along 11 months ago
how do i quit something like this
how do i quit showing my love

soon enough maybe someone will come along and catch the same habits
buttoning your jackets, shirts, pants, fixing your hair, fixing your hood, hats, fixing your trucks on your skateboard, fixing your rough hands, fixing your nasty elbows, massaging you, someone will fix you.

i couldn't fix you as much as i tried,
i can't fix myself either.
but that's what was good about us, we were both messy and broken and we still kept on loving each other

*then you left
i keep on reminding myself that if i love him, i'll let him go
and sadly i am.
with the wrinkly hat, the lopsided hood, and the messy hair
i'm letting go
no more hugs, they've been reduced to high fives
are we in grade 5?
it's okay
as long as i get to see you
in seven months i might never see you again