All of these eyes on me
I want to disappear
With nothing to see
But still be here

I can feel the taping
As messages are sending
All the cameras snapping
The eyes never relenting

How can I be guided
When I can't find closure
By getting reminded
Of all my failures

Everything is permanent
And I can't escape
When I'm sinking in concrete
With everyone on tape

I want to disappear
And live how I want to
I want to live freer
Act in a way that's true

Dark, well I know
Still, a spring tide's shining moon
Guides my way to you

In a world not safe but dangerous
In a world of pride and indifference
In a world of poverty and cries
In a world where starving children die

I'm still enraptured by you
I'm still in awe about you
I'm still captured by your sweet smile
I swear to go with you every mile

Life *****, I've heard it said so many times
So many places to go over run with crime
people killing, ******, taking from each other
Children forsaken and taken from their mother

I'm still enraptured by you
I'm still in awe about you
I'm still captured by your sweet smile
I swear to go with you every mile

Every mile
The hard and twisting roads
Every mile
The precarious ones you don't know

In a world where people have no home
In a world where they're sleeping all alone
I watch them cold out on the street
Homeless and fighting for something to eat

I'm still enraptured by you
I'm still in awe about you
I'm still captured by your sweet smile
I swear to go with you every mile

Every mile
The hard and twisting roads
Every mile
The precarious ones you don't know

I woke up and went inside
It is there that I found my guide
she said everything is just a lie
she said everything is a dark sunrise

I heard the bells, I heard the sirens
i heard the tales from the strange men
They tell me all of their religions
They tell me how to degrade women

I found my guide
She said look inside
There is nothing on the out that you need
Follow love and forget all the creeds

love is all you need
love is all that survives an eternity
love is all you need
God gives us love so abundantly

She said follow where it's bliss
And to love you cannot miss
and all the wrong turns you may go
In the end you will always know

Open up your heart, slow down your pain
Look at love as the only thing to gain
Throw away the hate and indifference
Make love not war as the only common sense

I found my guide
She said look inside
There is nothing on the out that you need
Follow love and forget all the creeds

love is all you need
love is all that survives an eternity
love is all you need
God gives us love so abundantly

A
S
w e
.tread
....along
...the paths
of life,  comes
a time when roads
t u r n   to  z i g z a g s
sometimes beaten, painful
to walk on...and the blue sky
darkens to gray...and the clouds
hide from us, and the sun sets, and
we need arrows and rays to guide  us
t h r o u g h:::::
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
From nowhere
.........any hour
y o u    appear
b r i g h t     as
morning  s u n
your   BEAMS
ILLUMINATE
you are a light
that guides us
.....through the
[[[ D A R K ]]].

...For Timothy...

Sally
Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

"Stars are trying to tell me
this is something like it"

The stars are trying to tell me something, but it's something I can't hear. Or perhaps it's showing me the light but it's shining on
something I can't see. The universe is singing somewhere vast and shimmering; expanding in upon itself, growing closer, still near exploding.
Reveal my soul to me


I stare into the heavens hopeful that she'll open her inky vale, shine her countenance upon me, and bless the growing glowing trail
of star dust and darkness and love and gravity, which spins beyond the precipice.
Ever in front of me.

My heart has walked the line, finding its place in its world and the place in my world where you settle and its all a bit of a whirl.

For a woman who doesn't believe in soulmates, you've become a lovely enigma of where I can't picture my life without you and you are the only one I want. Where you are the only star bright enough for me to want to fall through the tremendous skies to try to catch.

Its my constant hypocrisy, looking at you and seeing this heart I want only for me, a heart that seems to be so attuned to my own beats. A heart that seems so fateful sometimes I wonder how there cannot be some sort of universal intervention to lead me to you. It was all by such chance. I never expected, or even truly asked, for you.

Yet here you are.

And as I blink into the dim starlight, I think I know what you are, and how I can live between my two philosophies of you being meant for me yet our souls being nothing but the best coincidence I've had the honor to experience.

Its like I've said, writing, if anything, is my soulmate. I was made to write, to caress words like a fabled lover. Writing is on my belt, always on my hip, burning at the tip of the bone and something that will never leave me, no matter what. It is my personal and promised companion in an uncertain universe.

Yet something, in my darkest hours, sent me the brightest star I've ever seen to light my way and guide me towards my authorial happiest. True, I can nearly see less-lit paths in which I could be happy and even possibly, in a way, just as happy as this one.

But with writing on my hip, and this twinkle in my eye, you showed up and were everything I could have wished for and more.

That's what's so crazy about all of it; I even did wish for it, long ago when I was knee-deep in a passion for fantasy and true loves. I dreamt of a sandy hair boy with a flare for rebellion, loving all things unique. A man who liked to stick himself on motorcycles and see how fast they can go, who felt often alone but never let it ruin who he was. A person so strong yet so internally solitary a person like couldn't help but be magnetized.

I thought of my character as the hero, but oddly enough my proudest role for her, my facsimile, was to stand by the sandy-haired man and love him in his brilliance in a way only she could see. To be the only one to stand by him wherever life may lead, and be as damnedly brilliant right by his side.

But their connection and love?

It was the true protagonist of my stories of the Sander boy and his quirky girl.

Part of it is fantastically terrifying how much of them I see in us, of how much of my teenage love dream came true when I never asked it to. By the age of eighteen I had abandoned romance. I thought no one would want me, not the way I was. I didn't think there would ever be a man, let alone a sandy-haired one, in my future.

And then there was you.

Its ludicrous. Its all madness, looking at you sometimes. I never thought I'd be so lucky. I never planned for you. Yet look where we are.

We're brilliant.

So in its own way, my ideas hold true. I don't quite believe in soulmates, for love is unexpected and telling yourself you only get it once is cold and painful. But I look at the paths before me and you illuminate the one that has me and you and it looks so beautiful.

I am writing and I am so happy, and you are so brilliant right next to me and we're so happy.

I could be happy elsewhere. But after knowing you and following you like the north star, letting your light be my guide, picking you out of all the stars I could have had....

I can't regret anything, and I can't picture myself loving anyone so brilliantly and passionately as I feel with you. I could be wrong, I could be a fool, but **** it. Tonight, for every night I've known you, your brightness has surprised me and filled me with so much love.

For now, you are my north star, the thing that directs my path as I illuminate the night with you. I might be a pessimist, and maybe the universe did plan this all perfectly like a well-constructed art-piece. Or maybe I'm being an optimist, and we only found each other by luck, two ships in the night that happened to collide happily.

No matter the circumstances, there's no one else I love to traverse the infinite sky with more. After some polishing I've found my own brilliance, but with you it grows so much stronger.

I found in you what was lost in me, and I'll stay with you as long as you stay bright on me.

Straight forward word ****
Blunt broken and scorn
All dopamine no thought
Thrills and pills
Forget the skills
Just saying what they want.
No chill no build
A populace guild
Only say it if its hot.

Fairy fly,
High upon the setting sun.
Soaring high,
Higher than the moon.

Fairy fly,
Glittering across the dark.
Lighting your way.

May your path,
Guide you.
The the dreams of celestial.
To the lullaby.