Raven on the *****,

we follow dad to the grave --


Then it's time to cry.

For my final act of love,
I will let go of my love for you.
Let go of the future we planned.
Let go of dreams and goals we had.
Let go of me wanting something
that you never wanted.
I will let go of what we could have been.

You are free now,
free of the slow mundane life I promised you
so you can spread your wings
to the far off places,
I could never reach.
Free from me slowing you down.
Free from me pestering you
to help build bridges forward
for our future,
while you built walls around yourself.
Free to live the life you wanted
without me.

I should have realized sooner
that this is not what you wanted.
That you didn't want me
but the comfort I brought.
That you wanted to live for the present,
not the future.
I should have realized all this so much sooner,
and for that shame on me,
I'm sorry.

For my final act of love,
I chose to love you no longer.
You now have the forever in your hands
That you so very much wanted,
a forever without me.
For my final act of love,
I'll move on...
without you.
Good luck,
I wish you well.

I’m certain
That to you,
I was a dandelion
You held too tightly
In your hands.

The wind came
And carried all my petals away,
Leaving only my memory behind.

Know this—
I’ve flown to a better place,
Even if that place
Is far from you.

I’m so confused.
I feel my body fading.

I confessed my sin—
I was welcomed,
not judged.

But I know
I put myself in a hard place.
I’m hurting you
with my indecision.
I’m hurting you
with my choices.

Part of me just wants
to disappear.
To fade.
To die.

I wonder why I keep delaying the end with you.
I never fell in love with you—
I fell in love with the freedom you gave me.
And maybe that’s why
my farewell still waits,
unfinished,
in a notes app.
I don’t want to lose my freedom.