It hurts
Every bone in my body aches
Unbearable pains lace through my system
My headache a constant
My heart
The only thing I can’t feel
Because it’s gone numb
From breaking over and over
My cheeks
Always laced with wet tracks
And my eyes
A waterfall I control.
My eyelids are heavy
But not with sleep
Instead with the same weight
On my heart
And my chest
It’s a panic
Uncontrollable in every way.
So my mind is racing
And twisting and turning.
With dark, gloomy thoughts.
And I need your help
Because I break more and more everyday.

That’s what I almost say
But instead
I squeak out
“I’m fine.”
And walk away.

Is it wrong to feel
it all unfold
to want my tongue to peel
off the words that have been foretold
to let my chest burst open
feel the nectar of flowers all find their place within
My body's nothing more than a token
caught in darkness for far too long my lively swarm has been

And oh, the misery
I can't let them out
The only bliss, you see
is when the humming isn't so loud
But today my ears can't take the noise
my body aches, its been holding and breaking
I thought somewhere in all that buzzing I heard a voice
But I'm afraid I'm just anothers nest in the making

In my dreams I see my bees leaving
they all fly away
and I can't blame the spider for weaving
turning this hive into her own flowery array
Soon this place might as well be forgotten
for I know nothing about actual flowers
and they will all be rotten
and there over my lost mind an old tree towers

This tree will be my grave
I shall be buried alive
til something may save
the leftovers of my overgrown heart, this bee hive

My dusty mind is filled
with old memories,
lost amongst poems
I dribbled on to the window sill
one morning.

I got lost in the shuffle of time,
thoughts brought me
ink drippings from
the night before,
though I already ate
the leftovers and smeared
my poems all over the walls.

You may join me
for a Gothic meel,
just don't forget to bring
your open minds
so I don't have to knock
or ring the bell.

Welcome to my gloomy day,
where black is happy,
blue is true, and the roses
withered at your feet
though they smell lovely.

(slowly the poems crumbled
in my mouth) the ofter taste
was lovely, a bit of gloom was
left hanging from my lips.

Such taboos I display,
should I speak in ghostly whispers,
so the spirit's can hear me too?

Shshsh!
I am not finished with you yet.

Come back soon and I will write you
another Gothic poem.

For I am the weathered poet.

© 2018 By Amanda Shelton

When I die
I want to be able to be there
To laugh at the ******* act of everyone
Acting like they gave a ****
Saying that they always loved me
Never once even showing it
I want to see the sad look on their faces
When they see the dead look in mine
Acting like they knew me
There are farms with less **** in them

Who am I kidding
No one will show
And that's how I expect it to be

A harsh breath ices over my soul
which shrivels up but refuses to cease
My ruby jewel running a wicked race
the end of which is never told
The owner of the gust is not me
For from the skeletal society it be

Someone has died in satisfaction
his life taken by asphyxiation
A crow comes close by to roost
near the man held with the noose
Expectations formed a hemp binding
Pressure pushed the strings holding

Another shattered from hypothermia
his mind no longer in hysteria
Fangs of a beast cacaphonously crash
but soon fade as the man a hash
Lack of human warmth drained
Pathos of his predicament claimed

One more exploded onto cold concrete
jumping free from a tight restraint
Belligerent buzzing blasts through
feeding on crimson blood just drew
Endless horizons rest on the tower
man consumed by endless power

I took my hand and grasped rubber
carbon-iron alloy spelling trouble
At my chest I flash the deliverer
aiming at one who is none the wiser
You can hear a thunderclap and the rain
for life from this lad has been drain

I jest.

Human nature dictates we protect
even if our minds are not intact
My spirit may be wholly extinguished
but to the bitter end my flesh pulsated
Only in dreams can I **** myself
for then I can expose my unhealth