I see you around sometimes.
More often than not,
Beginning just before the sun sets
Hiding until dawn brings forth a new day.
I’m not quite sure I understand how
You make me feel as if I’ve lost my touch,
My tether to reality
Like the earth is threatening to open up
And swallow me whole
Or to cause everything I love to disappear.
Vanish into thin air, never to re-appear.
I used to be deathly afraid of those days.
Of the flashbacks
Of my overactive imagination.
That just kept running, with my mind
Somehow dragging very far behind.
I was scared.
I mean, who wouldn’t be?
Of course, don't be mistaken
There are those bright and sunny days.
Where I think I’ve overcome it in some ways.
And yet on an unsuspecting day
I will happen to fall flat on my face,
And everything feels out of control.
While the world spins too fast
For my brain to compute, and
I feel broken.
Like a record running on repeat.
Skipping and skipping.
Scared of letting go.
Terrified of moving on.
Am I stuck in this loveless mood?
In this gloomy wasteland
Where my heart feels heavy.
I long to feel the sun
Shining on my face.
If not perhaps once again,
Just to chase away the
Darkness,
That I can’t seem to escape.
Written June 27, 2018.
Edited July 10, 2018.
