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fray narte Apr 17
i am quiet as
an iridescent, swan paperweight,
sitting and melting on sadness —
on sheets and sheets of it.

maybe this entire time,
i have been on the edge,
lying like a sand angel
and wading through dead buttercups.
i write a premonition
and call it a poem.

if these walls could speak,
they would call me a resident.
an outsider.
a hostage victim.
a sorry sight.
a paperweight sitting
in the middle of misery.

i am quiet as
an iridescent, swan paperweight,
sitting and melting on sadness —
on sheets and sheets of it;
oh, how i long
to fall and break
into a thousand pieces —

one, just small enough
to be invisible
to slip away
and have
no trace of pervasive sadness —
it glistens in casual,
technicolored mockery.

and i am quiet —
oh, so quiet.

oh, how i long
to fall and break.
fray narte Apr 5
a sheer curtain caught in a crossfire,
i stand here,
pure,
still,
and burning tenderly —
burning softly before your eyes.

i liken myself
to a child's laughter falling
on patches of sunlight —
to persephone giving in
to the licking flames,

but she is no more than
a fading ghost,
and my skin —
no more than a haunted woodland.

i hold on to the flames,
to this perplexity:
how can immolation
look so soft,
so cleansing,
so **** hypnotic?

when it feels everything but.

a sheer curtain caught in a crossfire,
i stand here,
pure,
still,
burning tenderly
into oblivion —
just as softly before your eyes.
Nicola Pillai Mar 20
She saved it for a rainy day
When she longed to have her fix
A withdrawal from the nostalgia bank
Would certainly do the trick
For it was among her most treasured memories
A quick revisit she knew would suffice
Not to undo life's wonderful blessings
But to simply feel everything twice
Today I gave in
I went back to bed  
Surrendered to the voices
Inside my head

The incessant noise  
Playing tag with my mind
I tried to find reason
Claim back what was mine

I looked for a way
To shake it right off
A stretch
Work out  
A simple walk

Instead I thought,
If I just close my eyes
I'd cease analysing
The anguish  
Building up inside

I lay there as the music
Fed my soul
Little by little
I took back control

Today was a day  
Where I learnt something new
Being still, is a skill
A tough craft to do

For in my stillness
Radiance will shine through
My super power
My strength
My greatest virtue
Late nights
Toast fests
Shopping in the city
Long chats
Silly dancing
Trying to look pretty

Tears of joy
Some of sadness
An emotional rant or two
Six weddings
A few funerals
Five babies, my three, your two

The good, the bad, we were all we had
The list goes on, it's endless
The challenges life threw our way
Always learning and trying to comprehend it

I had your back
You had mine
Life was good and we lived it
Completely oblivious, no notion of time
Our all - we certainly did give it

So next chapter sis, with this year ahead
Time, is of the essence
Let’s make new memories, relish this life
Take stock and count our blessings
I tried to run away
From all the pain I had
I tried to escape away from all screams
Cause they're making me mad

But they won't let me go
they keep on chasing me
They don't wanna **** me
They keep on torturing me

Sinking in fear
Choking in lies
No place to hide

But I can't bear this more
I've been off the shore
All those things I can't ignore

Wake me up
Pull me up
Tell me it's just a dream
Even it's not
I can't hear those screams more
No more
I was not active as usual due to heavy loads of exams going on
Nicola Pillai Feb 11
She stood there patiently waiting
For the steam to dissipate
As the mirror slowly revealed the lines
That earnt a place on her face

Honest, open and naked
Exposed and filter-free
Taking a moment to witness  
The beautiful chaos she turned out to be

A flurry of deep emotions  
At the mercy of her reflection
The room dead with silence
Through her eyes, her soul did beckon  

Now that the guise was lifted
She welcomed the tears of pain
A euphoric and deep connection
Healing only she could mend

She lingered there a while longer
Enjoying her presence and space
Willing to take the next step
It was written all over her face

Embarking on a new journey
A promise she needed to make  
To love and respect herself
For if not, it would be her biggest mistake
A journey of self love and respect
Curious and free, my love
Remember how that felt
So young and so naive
No money, stature or wealth

Curious and free, my love
My God did we explore
Traversing around the globe
Two-three times, more...

Curious and free, my love
We danced with many a wave
Chased wild dolphins
Roamed seabeds and caves

Curious and free, my love
Sand trickled through our toes  
Witnessed sunrises from mountain tops
Immersed headfirst in pistes of snow

Curious and free, my love
Late nights and sweet romancing
Wild parties, early mornings
Reminiscing of crazy dancing

Still curious but not so free my love
Our adultness restraints us
Still, wealthy from all those adventures
Maybe our next chapter will define us
Larissa Frost Jan 12
I didn’t want
To say goodbye
I thought we’d travel
The earth
You and I
But you no longer
Visit me
In my dreams
The silence in my
Head is
deafening
I’m
Shattered.

                   -L. Frost
Twenty Twenty
What a year
It‘s been
A Pandemic
Lockdown
All in between
We took on the news
A lot was said
Digested it
Analysed it
The papers we read
It was like nothing
We’d ever lived through before
It’s intangible force
We just couldn’t ignore
It crept up upon us
Like a thief in the night
Days on repeat
No end in sight
From loved ones
To livelihoods
Completey wiped out
Broken-hearted
Desolate
Filled with so much doubt
Tier one
Two
Three and four
Some followed the rules
Others chose to ignore
We needed some answers
A glimmer of hope
Too much to comprehend
On this never ending *****
Then came good news
A vaccine was near
Would this solve our problems?
No more living in fear?
With 2021 looming
As we ring in the New Year
What have we learnt?
What’s important?
What’s dear?
Maybe Mother Nature
Wasn’t being heard
A deeper message for us all
That wasn’t being shared  
Finger on the button
Press rewind
Say hello to your neighbour
Practice being kind
Time to reflect
From this year to the next
How will you change you ways?
What will you do next?
Sometimes the hardest questions
Are the easiest to escape
But a conscious decision
Determines the action we take
A little gratitude perhaps?
Pay it forward?
Lend some help?
Practice daily affirmations ?
Look after your mental health?
I know one thing that’s true
For me I’m sure
I found my purpose
My reason
My cure!
In my own words
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