Eventually I became this child of Steel hard as a rock with no tender feel
I became immune to the blows to my head as the tips of my welts that slightly bled the pain it faded and my shell grew weak but as my mind grew stronger I became this freak he said he'll teach me wrong from right but my rage grew stronger so I stood his fight I held no fear by the state of my eyes I no longer felt fear but wanted him to die

everywhere us control freaks are categorized as the bad people.
we're the narcissists-
the mean ones.
every assumption leads to us being put off as people who abuse those around us.

i am a control freak.
i get furious when things don't go my way to the point of wanting to cry.
i hate being wrong.
i want to ****** the happiness and the "rightness" off of your smug face.
i want to grab my throat and squeeze the stupidity out of me.
i want to bash your mouth with my fist until you can no longer speak-
until your words are so incomprehensible that everything you're saying must be wrong.
i want to always be the smartest guy in the room,
i hate not being the smartest guy in the room.

i want and i want and i want
but i never do anything about it.

Back into the circus,
Back into the ring.
Just another spectacle,
Another freak they can make sing.
I'll do my flips and tricks,
I'll sing, dance, juggle flaming sticks.
The audience laughs and cheers.
If one jeers, boos- no one can hear.
The thunderous applause,
Whistles of approval,
All of the oohs and ahhs
Please me and tickle my ears.
Welcome to my carnival.
Here in this tent I put on a show.
It is a mirage to please all who go.
It is the most convincing act-
A performance no one can look past.
They can't see the real me
Past the freak they want me to be.
Here in my circus,
Here in the ring.
Ring around the rosy,
Throw the ashes around like sickness.
Welcome to my carnival
Where I'm just another freak who can sing.
Ring around the rosy circus tent
Until in ashes it all falls down.

Don't even think about it...
No. Don't say a thing.
It's stupid anyway and
nobody cares anyway.
Seriously. Shut up.
Your mind is too loud.
Your thoughts are annoying
to them. So. That's that.
If you speak your mind...
People will;  
Look at you strangely,
Think you are stupid,
Tell you to take your meds.
You worry too much.
Don't freak out.
Freak out internally,
but don't do that either.
Smile. Don't smile too big.
Worry. Don't Worry too much.
But do. But don't. But do.
Calm the **** down...