Awake in pain
My body in the midst
Of fight or flight
And I choose to fight
This crippling anxiety
That has caused me to flee
For years I’ve lost count of
Remembering my childhood
Crying incessantly
But never knowing why
My heart would not stop racing
Now I know the truth
But I must state
Awareness never makes this easier
Feeling the panic swell
Gripping my muscles
Frozen
Flooding my brain
With unwelcomed memories
I believed I’d pushed past
Buried in the depths of my mind
Waiting for the moment
When my defenses were lowered
The minute I close my eyes to rest
The second I decided it was time
To shut off for the day
My stress picks up the signal
And shakes me loose
From my restful sleep

Who draws strength
from watching the passage of time
after dark
blur against the windows
of a moving train bound
for ends uncertain.

Who walks most balanced
on the beams of empty tracks.

In the shuffle of strangers
at a crosswalk, who finds
direction.

Who sees
clearer through rain.

Who finds their place
in the limbo of airport terminals,
on delayed flights
between chapters,
over open roads that branch
into tales of cities unseen,
in the turn of pages unwritten.

Who can keep track of time
during the improvised chaos of jazz,
catching notes scattered
in the winds of horns.

Who understands
that wind moves
fastest through dark places like tunnels,
during storms in late August.

Who finds their center
hurled in flight,
always coming and going.

Why would she wants to be a pilot
When she is already an angel?

Why would she wants to be inside the cockpit
When she can just spread her wings?

Why would she have to struggle asking permission from the radio tower
When she can fly by her own desire?

Why would bothered about fuel consumptions
When she have a gigantic amount of power?

Why would she thinks about the ground speed
When she can fly with her wings in a high velocity?

Why would she thinks about the minutes
When she can travel with just one click?

Why would she thinks of a distance
When she can just do teleportation?

Why would she afraid of an engine failure
When she have the strength of lifting earth?

What kind of heavenly creature
That have something she concerned?

Twisted tummy
24 hours to get to you
I cannot chew
or swallow
or drink properly
it is all soggy cardboard
dans ma bouche.

Before I get to you
my heart stammers
a million times a minute
and I cannot
for the life of me
relax one little
bit.

Slow and steady
I attempt to breathe
but my body won’t be fooled
it knows you are nearer
to me.

The little chickadee
with his fulsome squeak
is feeding on small seeds
left by the jays and dove -
enough for him
and his swift flight.
May I learn
to take just enough.

Travelling home in the company of golden stars and silver moons, to the left is a sea of wild grass..a reminder of a future with endless possibilities. To the right, liquid blue, like the sky was admiring itself in a mirror...a reminder of the beauty that awaits me. Noah_arkenswagg

How can he expect that the world will treat him well
when he did all the doings that the wise man regret
for such a person he is, unloving, uncared
how can he wish that there be a different dawn to set

as he stands at the cliffs end, thinking for a wish
for the changes he can give, the one's he mistreated
as he stood in brave stance to take the leap ahead
nothing then mattered, nothing then made sense

As a friend I tried to stop him, to take a chance and live
but he smiled so genuine and a salute he then waved
as a friend, I stood there as I saw him spread his wings
now he is in heaven, the one I failed to save.

Oh my dear bumble bee
She said as she caressed
her soft honey colored hair.

Stay humble
through your flight so high.
Emerge with a special glee
Of bustling-buzzing excitement.

Let your golden stripped wings
Carry you to scope lands for enchantment.
To collect those dusty pollen
and transfigure them to honey
for you and others.

A honey comb of a heart
Resides in you my dear
So allow the honey to drip from your tongue.

And when science tries to prove
With their theories and mathematical proportions
that you can not fly high
Let them taste the sweetness
Of your hustle
and the sight of your flight.

And when I dream, I see our lives entwined
Forever tied with bonds unknown to time
Let our love grow and flourish
Like a bird spreads its wings
Or a tree becomes a forest
While our breath draws us to sing