It was never about 'getting better'
No, I was way beyond that point
See there's a character, values, strengths, weaknesses, beliefs
That shape who we are, how we act, and how we respond

Getting better would mean I'd have to erase the past somehow
To make myself less broken, more oblivious, and happier
All of which I know to be impossible to reverse

Getting better, it's definition has changed so drastically
That it means not being the person
The person I've become
And I know I might have been more likable, fun, and hopeful
Maybe I seemed like a better person than I am now

But if you think I need to be fixed
If you think I still need to 'get better'
Than you don't have any right to be in my life
Because this is who I am now

I don't need you to fix me.
I don't need you to pick up my pieces.
I don't want you to.
I do not want you to.
I never asked you to.

you said you would fix me and you did.

for a little while i was "fixed".

but then you decided that you didn't like that,
that you didn't like me,
and i was no longer okay.

i was no longer fixed.

i was broken again, only this time,
more than before.

Many of my poems are snarky
And I know it.
Some things make me ******
And I show it.

Some people are beneath contempt
Puff out their chests, think they’re exempt
But at the bottom of it all, they’re ****.
They count on people at large to be dumb
And deaf and blind to their ugly tricks.
People give up thinking they can fix
The atrocities perpetrated on society.
They get physically sick at the impropriety
And villainy these criminals get by with;
Two tongues in each mouth politicians lie with.

Many of my poems are painful
And I know it.
Some things make me disdainful
And I show it.

I’d perhaps take up haiku poems or calligraphy
If there wasn’t so much ignominy around me.
My trusted representatives are lying to me
And are doing so daily with total impunity.
It’s disgusting and even more, its treason.
And most of the time, they have no reason
Other than rampant compulsions and greed.
So, what better excuse would they need
To betray every concept they claim to believe?
Is that why there’s never going to be a reprieve?

Many of my poems are political
And I know it.
Some things make me analytical
And I show it.

It works because we reward tinhorn crooks
And let them alter all our history books
To either pretend they never existed
Or to act like they ever have resisted
Any momentum to remove the rights
Of those who were not born white
Or rich, or straight, or Republican
Then, the next Congress starts again.
I’ll stop being a ***** about all this
When they stop offering their *** for me to kiss.

Many of my poems are snarky
And I know it.
Some things make me ******
And I show it.

I can't seem to
fall asleep
anymore.
I lay awake
in bed staring
at my barren
ceiling,
thinking.
Thinking about
how broken I
am...how you
broke me...
It's been 5
******* years
and I'm still
trying to put
myself back
together from
the first time.
I'm still trying
to mend all my
pieces into one
again.
I don't think I
ever really
realized how
broken you
made me till
now...
But one day I
will be whole
again.