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He Pa'amon Jul 2021
at age 8 i stopped wearing jeans because they were uncomfortable.

at age 14 i wore high heels, fish nets, and skirts to school and a man once asked my mother if she really let me leave the house looking like that.
i also wore checkered pajama pants and shirts with holes in them to class, i dressed up and down because everyone else seemed to dress in the middle.
i dressed however i wanted to because my mother told that guy to shut the **** up and mind his own business.

at age 16 i wore crop tops the size of sports bras and pants so tight i understood why they called them skin-ny jeans
my **** and *** would be flying all over the place,
but people with larger **** and larger bellies, people like me, weren't supposed to be wearing those sorts of things so i thought i must.
or so i thought.

at age 18 i started dressing in oversized shirts and formless dresses
i didn't believe my body needed to be objectified and put on display anymore,
i didn't need to prove that my waistline was small enough,
i didn't need to wear the spanx i wore every day at 16.

at age 20 i stopped wearing make up or a bra,
my **** sagged and eyes bagged but i wanted to show people that ***** aren't always perky even on twenty year olds.
i also stopped shaving my armpits
i thought they were cute.

at age 22 i stopped shaving my legs.
i didn't think they were cute.
but i realized not every decision i made about how i presented myself needed to be in order to make myself more beautiful.

and at age 24 i shaved my head.

a man once asked me,
as he looked at my college ring wrapping itself around my pointer finger,
if i always did things differently just to be different?
and if id always be doing things just because someone told me not to?

i should have looked at him and asked him
what has he ever been told he cannot do?
Raven Feels Jul 2021
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, around midday? :>

double notice
focus to the unfocus
the light burnt now broken
so bright blind golden
nerves stitch the antidote of the unspoken
like the robot knew in the open
a wire functions him a moment stolen
the thunk already tornado thought chosen
permanent to memory hold in
eclipsed the expression from faces frozen
left hearts so cold so swollen

                                                                                 -----ravenfeels
My Dear Poet Jul 2021
The morse code of my heart
The subtitles under my eyes
The braille on my skin
The love letters in my mind
Know me
Jaicob May 2021
A way of expression,
A method of destruction,
A powerful shield,
A mighty weapon,
A piece of art,
An escapism...

No matter what you call it,
Poetry is beautiful.
Keep at it, young poet-
I believe in you.
Leaving this in the notes because I have nowhere else to put it.
My mother has been slowly blocking every social connection I have from my phone, so the only way I have of sharing my experiences as of now is through this website. I don't know what I'll do if this is taken from me.

Side note- my parents are very transphobic, so that's why I've had everything blocked. Once I came out as trans, my mother took matters into her own hands to try and stop me from being trans (or something..)  I hope that, given the current circumstances, you can be patient with my lack of posting. Thank you for reading; it means a lot to me.
Evey Emery May 2021
My cries loud, yet so silent
My screams in agony as it grabs me
I thought I had escaped,
but once again;
it has found me

It pulls me under
And holds me down
No matter what I do, I'll never get out

I struggle and scream
But it covers my mouth
As I succumb to the darkness,
My light goes out

It drowns me
never letting me go far
It locks me up behind clear bars

I cry out once more, silence...
Can't they see my agony?
It grabs me
I can't escape, it will always find me
Silence
TW
Evey Emery May 2021
A forlorn feeling surrounds me
As I travel down this valley of shadows and darkness
Witnessing my life go by while I sit in the passenger seat

I am held hostage in my own mind
Trapped in this prison with only my thoughts
The freedom I dream of is out of reach

As I smile and laugh
This euphoria is but a veil;
A veil that hides the truth
Raven Feels May 2021
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, sometimes strangers can become the holders of our deepest secrets:>



awaited so long so vast to confess a blurt out a must say

that my hopes came to the ultimate settle to the unspoken overwhelm of this May

hurdled in my lap like a shiny relief anticipation

hidden doors under that rag to a whole new brilliant creation

never have I ever came to express to redeem a share

in a chaotic crowd in a room for that daemon monster flare

bare me the tears

been shed been dear on the angel

on that blanket that saint of the painful

don't get this wrong it was a cry of surreal

of a friendship that I dreamt of a cherish

for those pure souls to come to an emotional peel


                       ------ravenfeels
lila Apr 2021
I wish people could understand
That sometimes things don't go as planned
And that I'll always try to hide
The things I feel deep down inside

I wish people could understand
That's sometimes being true is hard
That sticking to the rules is bland
So let this all become freehand

I wish they know
That it's possible to
Like boys and girls
And still be you

To be bi in a world
Where straight is the norm
To be wild and untamed
When people conform

That it's possible to
Be 'smart' and suicidal
That comfort doesn't make one
Want to keep their vitals

That just because I smile
Doesn't mean it's all fine
That I can hate my life
And still act in line

So please understand
Don't judge, don't sigh
I want you to know
That I really try
To be normal and stuff
To not scream and cry
To act like I'm still
A really good child

But before you judge
Keep this in mind
I'll keep killing myself
Until everyone thinks I'm fine
I was burning my walls
when freedom had called
but not long after
did those firefighters have it stalled.

It was hard to fight back
when the flames died down
the walls grew back
and I fell down -

But what they still couldn't dim
was the fire I had
burning within.
No one can extinguish your inner flame!
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