I wish people could understand
That sometimes things don't go as planned
And that I'll always try to hide
The things I feel deep down inside

I wish people could understand
That's sometimes being true is hard
That sticking to the rules is bland
So let this all become freehand

I wish they know
That it's possible to
Like boys and girls
And still be you

To be bi in a world
Where straight is the norm
To be wild and untamed
When people conform

That it's possible to
Be 'smart' and suicidal
That comfort doesn't make one
Want to keep their vitals

That just because I smile
Doesn't mean it's all fine
That I can hate my life
And still act in line

So please understand
Don't judge, don't sigh
I want you to know
That I really try
To be normal and stuff
To not scream and cry
To act like I'm still
A really good child

But before you judge
Keep this in mind
I'll keep killing myself
Until everyone thinks I'm fine

I don't know why
My self-hatred is this high
Or why I can't seem to cry
Or why I say "I'm fine"
When it's clearly a lie

I don't know why
Some people say I'm awesome
While others say I'm lonesome
Or why some say I'm warm
While others look at me with scorn

I don't know why
I loathe my reflection
Think I don't deserve affection
And have constant thoughts
Of pain and self-infliction

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I hate this
Someone make it stop, please