So, it all turns out to be a loop

William Burroughs , Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac

Your a ****** for disorderness

God ******, anger, emotion.

But you just cover them up with Paris Hilton jokes

Forever on the road, always ready to go

Ginsberg as my birthday gift, T.S. Eliot as my memory.

The past can make it so easy to relapse

not because of the past itself

but

running away from it

and burying it in the subconscious,

hiding it away and letting it silently

fest fest fest.

Is what causes you to be haunted.

---

Pain;

A raging sore, a deep wound, an eternal scar,

just wants to be felt; acknowledged.

So I try not, to ignore it

when I see the marks of the past; knives

digging into the valves of my heart; pain

even when it comes back

strong and hard and fighting

like a hurricane

carrying me away under water

suffocating the freedom in my punctured lungs

I will not let it destroy me.

—-

Its not because I am weak that I struggle with it

but the brain is strong; be aware...

For thoughts can make you a victim of your own mind

though I hope
there will be a time when

healing, that miraculous God-sent healing is at the end.

When

you stop ignoring the past

and instead start loving those broken pieces, the shame you felt,

the fear that crippled

and realise

it will soon ease, soon melt away, soon diminish

and you’ll remember

**pain has no authority to hurt

So close, so far; so close, so far.
Only four years apart.
And here is a man who has created something that others enjoy,
but he can call his own.
Something easy, something accessible, something simple,
and he's served so many who can so easily take it for granted.
Has he money or merit or formal praise or accolade,
I know not, but fame and fame and fame,
for creating a way, a niche, a salon for the literary minded
to congregate and ventilate,
meditate and salivate,    
indeed* create [and] regurgitate.
Thanks to thee our blessed Eliot York.
Lead on; lead on.