Today I saw the quote
“If it’s about survival... isn’t a little agony worth it?”

As if agony is something so small and easy to bare. As if it is a stone in our pockets that just adds a little weight as we are forced to march on this path that has no way out and no way back. When it’s more like this pressure that surrounds us and pushes our feet into the ground as we wade through this quick sand in attempt to make any progress, to move forward even an inch. In attempt to avoid being swallowed whole. But at the same time we just want to sink to the bottom and let the sticky sand muffle all sounds included our own. So we can let this pressure push us down as we sink further and further holding our breath waiting for that moment when we reach the bottom, just to see what’s there. And when we finally inhale we find our lungs have been filled with sand all along, it’s just this time it fills our eyes and ears as well. But perhaps a “little agony is worth it”. Maybe we should swallow our pain and continue forever forward as if we didn’t just swallow a red hot coal that’s now burning its way through our bodies and melting our will to continue as it goes. But no, let’s swallow it like a chalky pill that sticks to our throats and catches on it’s way down, but don’t worry, here’s a glass of sand to wash it down.

i drown myself in the noise

because i can’t bear your silence

because you’ve drowned

and the only noise i can hear

is the whisper of a smile

muted in the seabed

Welcome to drown town
A grey place that always holds me down
With helping hands by the local clowns
If it’s not them, it’s my mental health
But enough about that, let’s explore around
This god awful rundown town

Do you see the lady breaking down?
Crying for help, realising she has truly lost herself

What about the boy riding the bike?
Fourteen years old, feels naked without a knife

How about the gang dressed in Nike?
Whites, browns or E’s
They have the vices you desperately need

But between you and me
I like getting ****** under a tree
Alone with my thoughts about life
Can’t really see myself living past 25
I scream to God about how much I want to survive
But I am chained to my mistakes and that is no lie

So enjoy your stay in my sweet hometown
Sooner or later you’ll forget yourself  
In my own personal hell, drown town