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eli 2d
The only cells
In my body that
I love are
The dead ones
Kîłł më
eli 2d
Crying Prozac tears tonight
eli 2d
I’m learning
How hard it is
To run
From your problems
eli Apr 16
How do you do this?
The fight with your brain that the empty is there and you just want to get rid of it but you can’t figure out how

It’s like a car crash,
You drive a little fast, a little recklessly one too many times
But what could go wrong?
Nothing has ever gone wrong before
So you go a little too fast
It’s not your fault if somebody else is drunk
You didn’t make that decision for them

You wake up in the hospital
Bandages around your arms
Broken legs from trying to lift yourself up when you were crushed

And you swear to never drive again
That was too close
You could’ve died

But the next day
You have to go to school
Your parents have already left for work

You slip into that familiar drivers seat
The steering wheel fits perfectly around your hands
The grasp just right,
The grooves from where you nervously rip your hands
And you find yourself accelerating
Faster and faster

There’s already been an accident once
What’s the chance of a second one?
eli Mar 27
I hate it when people say stuff like:
“You’re so brave for battling your depression like that”

I am not battling it
Not anymore
The harder I fight back the worse it gets
So I am living with it

We made peace together,
Not a functioning peace
But it is calm

Like the calm before a storm
Or a fire

Because it is quick to ignite itself at the slightest able chance

So I am not battling depression

I am battling myself
eli Mar 27
I’m sad today
eli Mar 19
When I’m at work
Sometimes I am a total *******
I believe it’s to make my coworkers hate me
So when anxiety creeps up and tells me
That none of my coworkers like me

It’ll be true this time

Why the hell would I want to torture myself like that?
That’s absolutely crazy to do that

Yet here I am
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