I am a dichotomy
Caught between the best of me
And what feels like what’s left of me
After years of insecurity
I am caught in a dichotomy
Wondering if you’re using me
Or if you’ll set me free
I want to believe that you’re good for me but
I can only see the warning signs caught in between the breaths I meant to breathe
I am at war
I don’t know if I can count my trauma amongst the casualties
Or if they remain my true enemy
An enemy like darkness, like you, a vacuum which absorbs all light but the rays needed to illuminate your face
Because around you I am blind
Stumbling through broken words and empty lines
Searching for meaning with no concept of time
I am merely painting signs in the hopes that this time you’ll see
Because it’s too dark and the air around you is hard to breathe
But the pain is bittersweet
With each inhale brings recovery
And each exhale lets me find release
I am bound and I am free
I am confident and also weak
I am brave but I am cowardly
I am a dichotomy
Because within me lies more complexity
Then simple character traits which are assigned to me
I will not be chained to simplicity
Another nobody screaming into a void of uncertainty
Because I am a dichotomy
You cannot contain me
I defy reasoning
I have the power to unleash words like demons and in the same breath profess love and if you’re listening
You know that
I am more than a man, I am an idea
An idea that maybe the greatest power is found in dichotomy
A dichotomy like you and me
Through the darkness and the light we proceed
Because we were never one without the other
In this dichotomy we believe
In this prison we are free
Encaptured by the dichotomy of you and me.

Thou-shalt-not                          
        deceive,
              break
                       or
                         repent.
So please,
             handle
                    with care.

As your beloved
               lustrous
              diamond
                             or
                                 a noxious
                                       fission
                               time-bomb.

Whether s/he be
In chains & fetters
Lazy or a
Real go-getter
Using pen
Or tech typesetters
Staid & proper
Or upsetter
A Poet remains
A wo/man of letters.

Ugly or quite
Fair of face
Present.
Gone without a trace
In polyester
Or fine lace
Sure of pen
Prone to erase
Poets ALL
We bestow grace.

Well read or
Quite ignorant
Cogent or
Lacking in sense
Wealthy or
Don't have one cent
Nostalgia or
The present tense
Poets have their
Eloquence.

Wo/man! We the
Letters make!
It is all a
Give & take!
Get going
For goodness sake!
Whether you are
Real or fake
Heck! We ALL
make our mistakes!
Whether we are
Gent or rake
We leave MENSAs
In our wake!

So on it goes
We laugh or sigh
We celebrate
Or weep & cry
We struggle on
We try the rye
We are awake
Or bleary eyed
Life can't stop
It will pass by
It will pass

UNTIL WE DIE.


Catherine Jarvis
(C)12/22/2019

Empty, void, desolate.
Full, rich, abundant.

No friends.
All colleagues.

No tears.
Just sadness.

No lover.
Only compromises.

The sadness of life.
Alongside the beauty of life.

If you take my sorry
I'll take the fall
I'll make the call
And choke on my blood

If you take my pleading
It'***** the wall
I'll lock the stall
And choke on my love

Please, ignore my stalling
I was so wrong
I was so wrong
Forget my memory

Forgive me
Never
I hurt your soul
And you'll never know

Sorry
Sorry is not enough
I was torn by lust
But now I must
Apologize
It wasn't me
Not by will
Please don't choke on me

It's so cold
Here
In this dank wet prison
Where the Blue-Haired Monster
That fiend
That monger
Loves me with grave danger
Trapped in an unstable manger
My own maelstrom brought me down
He killed me
And He revived me
Then He'll **** me again
He doesn't talk
He speaks in giggles
Cold
Wet
Giggles
... no
With cold
wet
spindly fingers
no
and a tongue
of vile
vanity
No
The vanity drips
All over my face
Such a horrid taste
NO
NO!
DO YOU HEAR ME?
I
SAID
NO!

boom

NO!

boom

NO!

SET!
ME!
FREE!

clap

Thund­er and lightning
My Angel of Blue sings
A song that parts the sea
The rain of my pain
Works for my gain
A hurricane
The Blue Man can't see
My Angel of Blue wasn't dead
She was waiting for me instead
Through the waters
I rise
My salt water cries
Bring me to distant shores
His maelstrom traps me no more

Stay where you are.
Locked in arrogant infancy,
You try to scream, but you stop.
You try to cry but drop
To your knees,
Begging to the unseen.
No more.

Hail the King of Fools.
The devils laugh and scorn.
Through chains, more fears are born.
You try to scream, but you stop.
You can't breathe.
Fighting the unseen.
No more.

Enslaved by your fears,
You try to scream, but you stop.
You cry.
You beg.
You breathe.
You squeal.
No more.

Mince your words,
You've done it before.
Bow like you're in the presence of Royalty.
He's royal.
Lording over you, after all.
But he's short.
They're all short.
Yet you...
The self-proclaimed miser,
King of the words,
You have nothing of substance to say.
What a plot twist.
What a change.
You weakling.
Confidence doesn't suit you.
It doesn't match your eyes.
Hypocrisy, a great design on you.
It brings out the color
Of your lies.

She would tell me
about this
young black horse
&
how he used to run
through the forests
finding spots to bury
the perception of infinite love.

My adventures towards it saddened

She would then also tell me
about how he died of a
lung cancer &
that the perception of
infinite love was still alive,
unburied, undecorated
as it is, as it was.

My adventures towards it sweetened.


- Samar Charulingah Godfrey