Everything I wanted
Everything I required
Everything I craved
I now know I will never receive

No matter how much I beg
No matter how hard I try
No matter what I do
My wishes will never come true

My hope has died
I no longer feel the warmth of life
I only feel the cold embrace
Of death

My heart is going numb
My soul feels dead
My mind is on a path
Of complete self destruction

I call out for help
But to no avail
My calls are not heard
By the one who can fix me

My heart rate descends
My fear becoming reality
I’m all alone
With no one to help

I’m alone in these walls
Built for protection
But now all they provide
Is bitter solitude

My mind is caving inward
Threatening to implode
And all I can do
Is sit in my corner and cry

Huddled up tightly
With knees indenting my chest
Tears run down
Staining my skin

Makeup is a mess
I look upward in hopes
Of seeing you care
But alas I’m in solitude

You are no where to be found
And all I can do
Is fight my own mind
To not relapse again

For if I relapse
It will be the final time
No more across the bridge
No more shallow cuts

My life will be forfeit
Just like my heart
Which now rots
Deep inside my chest

Although it still beats
All it feels is pain
So intense it is breaking
Over and over again

Not a day goes by
Where it stops
My heart beats loudly
Hoping for you to come back

But you aren’t coming back
My heart is calling
For something that’s no longer there
And that hurts a hundred times worse

No longer can I keep bearing this pain
No longer can I keep waiting for the impossible
No longer can I destroy myself
So instead I will sacrifice this love

I will use it as an eternal source
For your eternal happiness
I don’t need the ability
To love anymore

Because the only one
I will ever love
Is you
And only you

this global catastrophe,
happened when a group,
of people called society,
decided to do something,
beyond their sanity,
calling this massive destruction,
we made,
humanity.
you see,
these people who come,
from different varieties,
preaching from any type of equality,
knows nothing of the prophecy,
that's leading them into,
a catastrophe.
their heads stuck to their,
devices,
little did they know that the,
ice is,
melting.
don't you hear trees,
crying?
when our brutal machines cut them,
we're not even trying?
and yet we still believe,
society thinks,
brutality is somewhat,
less beyond our sanity,
making this world,
a global catastrophe.

She sits and writes
For hours
Made of pills and scotch tape
Her father halfway across the country
The snow fell in Wisconsin first time in weeks
On the night of her birth
Three feet
Of ice
Always emotionally cold
Broken and tired
Made of sleeplessness and self-deprecation
Full of snow and shaking nerves
Anxious and sick of life
Opening her eyes is a ten thousand mile run
She needs sleep and hunger
But the sleep she gets is tortured
The sleep she gets is mournful
The world she made is lonely
Her head is loud and her mind is cluttered
Filled with useless feelings
She is too cowardly to talk to
People
She is too broken
She is too annoying
She is too clingy
She is too selfish
SHE IS A BAD PERSON
She should be avoided like the illness she is
A parasite
The demon she chokes
Is the demon she is
The way she will speak
Is through the eyes of her fears
The way she will eat… are her thoughts
Her brain is folding in
And her bones are giving out
Her breath is failing, oxygen running low
Her medication is taking over
Her body is going through and eating itself
it is giving up
on her
and on everything else
take this as a sign
that these thoughts are real
they are happening
but they don't leave

I am unhappy
Most likely depressed
Could be suicidal

Revealing my mind
With whiskey
Cigarettes

Empty knowledge
Corrupted genes
Ingrained endgame

Have I met
My own
Sufficient end