You say you're ugly
But darling
You are a butterfly
That has seen the day
To be pretty.


-- Eleanor

Darling, you love the word "ok."
you're floating in a sea of "ok"
you're drowning in a sea of "ok"
you're dying in a sea of "ok."
You sleep in your coffin of "ok's" but it's ok
because you've ok'd everything to numbness and you've ok'd everything
to stop the bleeding and you've ok'd a noose around all that hurts.

But darling, you hurt.

Darling, what have you done to me? It seems as though 3 months ago I was writing about the pain of romance and bitterness. Then all of the sudden I was romanticizing brown eyes & cigarettes. Don't you know I hated the smell of smoke? My nasal cavity reacts badly to secondhand smoke but somehow, it doesn't when the smoke comes from you.

And all of the people are starting to say, "You look so happy with him" instead of asking, "Rough night?"

I haven't written anything sad for the past 2 months. I no longer sleep with a heavy heart. Is this what happy feels like?

Darling, what have you done to me?

Darling, dear, I never knew
I'd encounter someone as toxic as you,
but I can't find proof that “deadly” describes you.
You make me smile; you can make me laugh,
But it can't be safe for my heart to beat this fast.

Come darling, emit your sweet scent
Entice me around your flowing stem
Permit me to nestle upon your soft verges
To run hands through your vibrant colours
To dance, embraced as one, we blur
Spinning our deathly spin
Drowning in glorious, lustful sin

Come darling, reveal all you hide
Your vulnerable side
Shed that hard exterior shell
Fill my senses until overwhelmed

We waltz to the tune played
Many times before, oh how it has played!
Resting our heads on shoulders ledge
With a supple movement so slight

We swirl lightly, ever so slightly
Headed down to rest
Until the sun does rise again
And we repeat, nay, we play our lovers rhythm again

lay your head, my darling.
sink deep into the down fillings
and listen to the moments pacing by.
as they slow to match your steady heart rate, you shall become
one with the clouds.
trickles of dreams will welcome you into your subconscious -
where reality may fall to pieces and the worries of the day
will perish.
sprout wings, sweet dreamer.
soar to the furthest corners of your imagination.
find peace.
swim with the stars and collect all of your wishes. count the red ones and the blue ones and the yellow ones and the green ones, for I have sent prayers to each one in hopes for your sweet return.