I don't know how to start this
But I swear it's ******* with my mind
Cause the way you never miss
And the way it makes me cry

Why's she always first?
And the way you always seem to make it worse
Why can't I just ignore it?
For her I'd just die for it

It makes me sick
It makes me cry
It makes me wish I could denie
Denie the fact that she's important
To repair your broken comportment

I hate your jokes
I hate my life
It's tiring me
It makes me die

And yet I always seem to come back trying
Trying to keep myself from falling
Into that deep cage again
Where I never seem to be the same

And I love her
I really do
But your indecisive way of being "you"
Makes my mind go back again
To the place I've always fell

And I tired to ignore it
Annoyed I avoided
Avoided my feelings
Desperate to cover the grave
Where I hid my toxic trait.

Dreaming about you almost every night
Forgot about my ex love, and last time I cried
I think I'd be ok in my own fantasy world
Cause they won't be able to even say a word

I stare at the lonesome creature in the mirror;
The dull blue eyes share stories,
But they will never be told again.
The sickly pale skin yearning for the light,
The cracked lips that remained in a frown,
Limbs that looked out of place,
Hair that was wild in the worst way,
The clothes that felt like they never fit,
Was this who I was supposed to be?

eyes as dark as midnight;
staring ahead, soulless.
unravelling a puzzling sight,
sparkless.

but those eyes
were the pair that made me vulnerable
as the walls around me say their byes;
emotions crashing down on me, unbearable.

salty water making my eyes moist
as I peered at those eyes;
clearing out the foggy mist,
diminishing the lies.

my heart cracking,
my sadness spiking.
and i thought to myself,
such mesmerizing eyes.

How much pain in liquid form
Is acceptable to release at night?
What if it starts and then can not be stopped
From bleeding into the daylight?
Arguments are conflicting on whether I should try
It's been a bit pointless, try as I might
I've mastered keeping it silent
And my eyelids put up a good fight
But once that seals been breached
It's often an embarrassing sight
"It's okay, go ahead, let it all out"
"You have every right"
Even with hopeless hope
And diminished trust
I take the bait and bite
Then,
Same as it's always been,
It's used against me
Absent minded with plenty of foresight
"Maybe you need a good cry"
The relief from the release is slight
I know I've the inability to get it all out
Here's to hoping one day that I might
...CHEERS...

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